Corazon Latino

2008-08-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

It's been such a long time since I wrote anything here and so much has happened since my last post that I hardly know where to begin. Surgery went well, family issues continue to be interesting and we are currently taking a 3 month sabbatical from work which gives us some much needed space to process being back in NZ and stressors that arise because of that move. It is a rare gift to be given time off to rest, relax and refresh which should mean we are on fire to work again in November. There is a lot to work through and we are ever thankful for our Board who recognised a need and wasn't afraid to do something about it.

I still plan on giving my blog a make over and am working on little bits for it (actually I'm making my dear hubby work on it for me :-)) Hopefully we will get onto it this week although visiting family, farewelling family, painting scenery for a school production and a day out to explore Auckland might eat into our time. We'll see. Be sure to watch this space.

2008-07-03T02:58:00.000-07:00

I've been having a wee play on a fun site I found by accident. Enjoy answering my question :-)

2008-07-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

Things seem to go from worse to worser (is that even a word) at the moment. Life is never dull in the Webb household. Last week it was my turn for drama. On Thursday evening I had sudden and violent pain in my abdomen. I had absolutely no idea what it was. Within minutes I was curled up on the bathroom floor, writhing in pain and unable to speak. Nigel called the ambulance and prayed. When they finally arrived they doped me up on yucky gas and then whisked me off to the emergency department at the local hospital (after getting lost on the way!!!!!) All in all it was a long night. Since then I have had scans, tests and visits to specialists and the outcome is that I have lots of gall stones and need to have my gall bladder removed. Having never had surgery before this does freak me out a little but I'll do it as I don't ever want that pain again. It was worse than childbirth!!!!!!

Surgery has been set for the 10th July. That's just a week away. Panic!!!! In fact surgery is set for the day after my birthday. I'm hoping I can celebrate with the family and not feel a sense of dread hanging over the day. I know it will all go well. My dad had the same surgery last year. It's just the unknown of the anethestic, pain, cuts in my body, scars etc. I am thankful for medical insurance which means I don't have to wait years for it to be done free of charge in the public health system.

I'm also hoping that during recovery I might be able to give my blog a whole new look. It's been 2 years since I started and I think it's time for a change. At least that will be something fun to look forward to.

2008-06-29T10:51:00.000-07:00

"Children are not colouring books.
You can not colour them your favourite colours"
(From The Kite Runner)

This past weekend we have purposefully had a very quiet one. As part of it we watched the above movie which was very touching. If you get a chance to see it then do so. You'll love it. I might even go and find myself the book upon which it is based, to read (most unlike me :-)

Since having a teenager in the house life has been turned on it's head. We have experienced things we never dreamed of and at times they have broken our hearts. They have pushed us to our emotional and physical limits. There have been many sleepless nights and many tears shed as we cry out to God to help us.

The above phrase from the movie really struck me. As a frustrated artist I love colour and see it everywhere. There are some colours that I am attracted to and others I steer away from. During my night school art classes I learnt that a painting is made up of many layers of different colours. Some dark, others light.

I have to admit to wanting my kids to be certain "colours". There are ideals, morals and values that I would like them to hold and take with them into their adult lives yet upon reflecting on this phrase I realised that the colours I like may not be the ones that they like. It is hard to see the murky, dull colours forming layers in their lives. I know, though, that some of these colours will form the foundations of the bright, lively colours that will be evident as they grow older. It's hard to sit back and watch them experiment with new colours; mixing colours to create ones that fit them. I don't always like or appreciate the hues and shades they work with. Another thing I learnt in art class is that nothing is undoable. With careful brush strokes and a thick layer of paint those dark colours can be "erased". That's my job as a parent....to guide the young artist as they colour themselves through their choices and actions to produce a beautiful piece of art that changes just as the days change.

In the movie I loved seeing the many different coloured kites as they soared through the Afghan sky. I longed to see the kites of my boys lives soaring freely through the skies of life, reflecting the Light in the colours with which they are decorated. It will come, but for now I need to hold strongly onto the string and slowly release them into the next stages of their young lives. Some days I want to hold tightly onto the string and never let it go. Some days I realise I have let it out too quickly and need to pull back. It's hard to balance the right string length with the wind. But when you get it right the graceful sight is something to behold.

2008-06-23T18:23:00.000-07:00

A Birthday Trip to the Zoo.

There are only two things that have remained consistent in the life of my youngest son, Isaac. They are monkeys and the colour orange. Ever since he was very little these have both been his great obsessions in life. As a birthday gift this year we decided to give him the chance to get up close and personal with the primate section of the Auckland zoo. They run such things as the Zoom Tour which means you are taken backstage in the zoo to hand feed animals. The natural choice for him was to go to the monkeys. Part of the thrill for him though was probably the fact that he actually got a day off school as well :-) What more could an 11 year old want?

The day dawned bright and sunny, the perfect day for a stroll around the zoo. The plan was that he would take the tour and I would meet him afterwards as we couldn't afford for both of us to go but when we got there the tour guide said that I was to go with him, free of charge. What a great day off work for me also :-) We had a blast!!!!

Isaac feeding banana to a ring tailed lemur from Madagascar. So cute!

The lemurs were awesome. They have the most amazing tails that they wrap around themselves like a natural scarf. Their hands are human like as they grab onto your hand to get to the food. They are just like the lemur from the movie "Madagascar". You could almost hear them sing "we like to move it, move it....."

Me measuring my hand against the hand cast of an orangutan in the zoo. They are huge animals!

Hand feeding wiggly, live worms to hungry, lively, cotton topped tamarinds.

The lemurs are so gentle with such amazingly, orange eyes.

Iwani is a siamang gibbon. He loved it when we held his hand and tickled his feet and made sure that he was the centre of attention at all times. He thought my Isy was cool.

Those little worms were quite gross really but obviuosly a treat for these little fellas. The funny thing is that when they had had enough they went off to balance their diet with fruit and vegetables. If only my boys thought like that!

Our 1 1/2 hour tour was extended by an hour due to all the fun we were having. As a special treat we got to see where the rhinos slept at night. While there the keeper said she was going to feed the rhinos and did we want to help. "Of course", was the quick reply. What an awesome experience that was!

Standing that close and touching an animal that could kill you in a second was quite an experience. Their skin felt like cracked mud, was leathery, yet had little hairs all over it so it tickled as well. Amazing!

It was a fabulous day that neither Isaac nor I will ever forget. One of the most special parts was hearing the zoo keepers discover the birth of tiger cubs that they had been eagerly awaiting. Such a special event and we will be amongst the first to line up to view these wee cubs when they finally go on display in another month or so. If you ever come to NZ we will be sure to take you to the zoo and we will be encouraging you to get up close and personal with your favourite animals.

2008-06-22T20:54:00.000-07:00

Busy, busy, busy!

Can life get any busier? I think not but then in saying that I fear it just might. I haven't blogged much of late as there really hasn't been any time but I figured I'd snatch a few minutes before the boys fight me for the computer and in between the ironing and handwashing (all of which are way overdue!)

It's been birthday month in our household. It's always a lot of fun even though it does stretch the May salary that we receive. Three boys all celebrating in 3 weeks can get a little overwhelming.

First up was the most important boy in my household.....dear hubby, Nigel. This year was a big one for him. The big 40!!!! He has spent many hours over the past years planning how he would celebrate his big day. As it came closer and closer he decided a quiet, fun, family outing would be good so we, along with some of his mates, all spent an afternoon at the Auckland luge, speeding down hills and racing each other. It was a hoot. We shared cake and relaxed together which was nice. On his actual birth date he was away leading a retreat for a christian organisation. The boys and I drove to where he was and surprised him with a fancy cake and a huge bunch of helium balloons. It was nice to be able to spend the day with him. There were several other, smaller celebraions which he enjoyed as well. His birthday seemed to go on for weeks!!!!!

Next up was youngest son, Isaac who turned 11. He spent his brithday at school however that meant i could organise his party for a few friends. We went and played laser tag and ate loads of pizza which made for a super easy cleanup for me. I decided the best thing for a bunch of rowdy boys is plenty of activity and junky food. He had asked for a cat cake that looked like our cat, Santiago. I had fun making it and eating the left over white chocolate which adorned it :-)

Finally the eldest son, Caleb, reached the teenage milestone of turning 13. I wasn't sure how I felt about having a teenager in the house. I did know for sure that I certainly didn't feel old enough to have one! He also spent the day at school and then we repeated Isaac's birthday activities with Caleb and his mates although his request was for KFC instead of pizza. I was happy to oblige. All seemed just as easy to me. Surprisingly he also asked for a decorated cake. I thought he might have grown out of that but obviously not. His request was for a basketball boot that resembled a much coveted pair of nikes. I did my best and I think it came out pretty cool. I'm not sure how parents felt when their kids came home with black teeth and lips but it was fun.

Mine is next. According to my computer at work it is just 16 days away so that will be fun. I will have to go to work though I think but that might give the family the chance to organise something in my absence. We'll see what happens.

I love celebrating!

2008-05-31T21:14:00.000-07:00

Cute Cupcakes!

I've discovered cupcakes! It's not that I had never had them before but this weekend I found a really good, cheap and easy cupcake recipe that has no butter in it at all so that makes it super cheap (and I like a good bargain). I have had fun mixing bright coloured icing and popping yummy lollies on top. The ones above have just been finished. We are having dinner with a family that has a 2 year old so thought he might like some. If my 40 and nearly 13 year olds love them then I'm sure he will.

Now, I know you all know I am on a weight loss journey. One of the things I like about Weight Watchers is that there are no forbidden foods. Everything can be eaten as long as you count their "point" value. These cupcakes work out at just 2 points a piece including the wee lolly on top so they are good value as far as I'm concerned. I tried to convince my nearly 13 year old that he might like decorated cupcakes for his birthday but they're not that cool (apparently). He has opted for a cake in the shape of a basketball boot so I will be busy working that one out. Who knows what the nearly 11 year old will choose. Could be anything so I will mentally prepare myself for cake baking, decorating and any accidental licking of the icing bowl that may happen. Guess I'll be counting lots of points in the next couple of weeks :-)

2008-05-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

Yo naci en este pais.....Ecuador!

A friend from Ecuador put this wee video on his face book page and I just loved it! It reminded me of "home" and put a smile on my face. The words of the song are in Spanish but it basically says "I was born in this country......" I know that for all intense and purposes I am a kiwi but my heart must have been reborn in Ecuador because, to this day, I still think like an Ecuadorian and do things like one as well. My family just laugh at me when they point it out. Most of the time I don't even recognize it as being different. Funny how life's experiences change you :-)

Enjoy a slice of my "home". I will!

2008-05-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

Marriage!

When you've been married a while it's quite easy to forget each other in the busyness of life. We've been married 16 years, 4 months and 27 days (give or take a few hours :-) and at times we barely recognise each other. Of late I've decided that our jobs are pretty sucky. Even though we work in the same office, share the same home, attend the same activities together and share the same family there are days when we do not actually see each other or even speak to each other. It has been hard! We have taken each other for granted and have failed to put our relationship first. That has made for an often unhappy and even stressed life.

We discovered that the church we attend was offering the Marriage Course. It is a 7 marriage enrichment course so we jumped at the opportunity to put our relationship first. It runs on a Monday evening so the boys are fed and left behind with someone to care for them while we switch off our cell phones and dedicate a couple of hours to each other. It is run with a fancy 3 course dinner at a candlelit table for two. Nice and cosy. We don't have to talk to anyone else but our spouse which is just lovely. We've had one night out and are eagerly looking forward to the next 6.

I hope that this course will not only give us more tools in our marriage kit but will help us to set aside regular time together to just hang out, enjoy each other's company and not be so obsessed by ministry and kids needs.

Bring on Monday evening!!!

2008-05-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

I LOVE lists!

I've realised something about myself of late. I LOVE lists! I guess it's nothing new to me. I have been well aware that my life functions much better when I have a list or a plan of things to do. There are lists at home and at work and unfortunately they have very different things on them. Then there is the list of things that I carry round in my head. A list of things that I'd love to do but haven't got the time to do.

I'm also a sneaky list person :-) When I'm having a bad day and feeling that I haven't achieved much on my list then I write on things that I have already done just so I can cross them off! It's a great feeling to see little black lines scribbled all over a clean piece of paper.

For the past 2 weeks we have been back in Palmerston North. It was initailly supposed to be part holiday and part catching up with family, friends and supporters. In reality it ended up as part catching up with family, friends and supporters and part work. We have come home totally exhausted! Today is my first day back in the office and as I rolled over in my sleep at 3AM the lists suddenly began to haunt my dreams. For over an hour I tried to ignore them, putting them in their own separate "list" compartment in my brain, but all to no avail. There are times when my "list" brain takes over and that's all I hear......the many, many things I need/want to do.

So, here I am at 4:30Am, up, awake, drinking tea and watching trashy tv all in the effort of trying to crowd out my to-do lists in my brain. Surely there is something seriously wrong with that! I'm off to see someone today who will hopefully help me put my lists into perspective and help me prioritse them. Then I'll have lists of lists and that sounds more manageable :-)

2008-04-18T00:18:00.000-07:00

New Zealand mourns.

On the night of Tuesday 15th April the bodies of 6 school students (aged 16) and one teacher were pulled from the Mangatepopo River in the central North Island. They had been part of a group of 40 students who were spending the week at an outdoor pursuits centre. All attended the Elim Christian College, just down the road from our house.

To say that the country was shocked and stunned is an understatement. Each one of us have been impacted by this horrific loss. The Christian community in NZ is so small that many of us have links into the school, community or families of those that died. For us, personally, we have been supporting a close family friend of the teacher, missionaries who serve overseas who also know the family well, a teacher at the school and our eldest son who remembers the teacher from his own school last year. We have spent hours watching television coverage, reading newspaper articles, looking at photos and talking lots all trying to process our own feelings. It is hard to grieve such a huge loss. These were wonderful young people who loved life and loved God. Their loss has hit the school and associated church community hard.

I have to say that the school has been amazing! They have opened their doors to the public so that they have a place to express their pain. They have dedicated a whole room to be a place where people can write messages, house photos, bring flowers, gifts, balloons etc. The walls are completely full of messages of hope, love, care and grief. There are counsellors and pastoral care staff there round the clock to support those who visit. There is food, drink and tissues provided. Peaceful worship music plays in the background as people cry, sit quietly and reflect on the enormity of it all.

Last night we went to the school as a family. It was important for us to be a part of the community's outpouring of love and grief. We wept and smiled as we read messages from kids to their friends saying "Welcome to heaven guys! We love you". There were messages from parents of lost children, from their school friends, from complete strangers who have been touched by it all.

I am so proud to be a Christian today. This school has handled this tragedy with dignity, compassion, great wisdom and a strong, unwavering faith. On the day that the news broke the principal said the following:

If our faith means anything
it must mean everything now

They haven't taken the approach of "God has a plan for everything and it's all for good" which often becomes glib and unrealistic. They are asking the hard questions. They do wonder why. They do have questions as to how it all happened but they know that God is with them in the midst of it and that He will sustain them as they face the long days, weeks, months, even years ahead. Such godly examples to a world that has no faith.

The impact of this tragedy is far reaching. Pray that the faith of the students, staff and families will be more far reaching.

2008-03-30T01:13:00.000-07:00

Learning new things.

A couple of years ago, as we sat in a group of missionaries in Ecuador, we were discussing things that people didn't know about us. My friend stated that when he looks around he sees/hears music. Everything he looks at is reflected by the music that he hears. I think some people had no idea what he was talking about but I have reflected on this a bit this year. I realised that in my world everything is colour and texture. I love, and I mean love, to touch fabric as I walk through clothes shops. I love to look at different colours, how they play together, how they enhance the form of something, how they just glow. I see colour everywhere. It is always the colour that is the clearest when I am lookng at something and then it is it's texture. I just adore it all!

I think that inside of me there has always been a frustrated artist wanting to escape. She has so much to express but really no idea how to do it. Ever since I was in high school I have wanted to create but never had the opportunity. I have dabbled in different craft things over the years but often felt that there was more that I needed to "say". So this year I have taken the plunge!!!! I now attend night school classes in painting with oils and acrylics. There are just 8 of us in the class, all with varying degrees of skill in this whole painting area. I think I have already decided that my painting will be abstract in nature. I'm not into fluffy details or leaves and mountains. I'd much rather create a colourful, textured painting. I'm hoping that through this whole learning process I might find my niche. I'd love to be able to express my relationship with God and the world through art.

Who knows how it will all turn out but I'm having fun in the meantime.

2008-03-15T12:50:00.000-07:00

"Twinkle, twinkle...."

This past weekend we have finally managed to score a couple of days off. YAY! It has been a long 3 weeks where we have worked every single day. We have been hanging out for this weekend for ages.

On Friday Nige and I went to the movies. I love movies :-) I had been trying to get there for weeks so it was nice to be able to enjoy it with my hubby. We saw "The Bucket List" which was a wonderful film. It stars Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman as two men who become unlikely friends when they are both diagnosed with terminal cancer. The bucket list is a list of all the things they want to do before they "kick the bucket". Needless to say there was a lot to giggle about and also a few tears.

One of the lines that I loved the best was when a woman that Morgan Freeman was talking to said that the stars are like "little holes in the floor of heaven". I thought that was very cool. Imagine, lots of little holes in the floor boards of heaven which allow the glory of God to sneak through and shine down upon us. How cool is that? His glory must be soooooooo bright that it shines bright this far away. I just loved the thought of it.

So how about it? Next time you look up and see the stars just think about God's glory and how amazing He truely is.

2008-03-03T19:01:00.000-08:00

The West Coast of New Zealand has a rugged coastline but it is quite stunning. Some of you may remember the film "The Piano" which was filmed near Auckland at Karekare beach. Just beautiful! This past weekend we had a camp for people who are preparing to head off overseas and those who are currently home. We stayed at a campsite here at Piha Beach, the one next door to Karekare.

This was the first camp of this sort that we have had in a long time, in fact since we began in the office over a year ago. There were about 60 people in total, including kids. The weather played ball and even though it rained at times it was only during session times.

To be honest we wondered how this weekend was going to go. We had had a couple of extremely busy weeks leading up to it and at times we felt quite unprepared. We have been dealing with many a difficult situation including working with a long time missio who has been recently diagnosed with cancer and has weeks to live. It has been emotionally draining to say the least! We were very tired, even more so after the weekend but it was all worth it.

This morning my team debriefed from the camp. We were able to identify many a good thing that happened. God moved in the lives of those who participated and we had some really good feedback. One long time missio told us that it was the first time he had felt such a freedom to share and talk about the struggles of ministry. That was fabulous for us to hear. People really connected on a deep level and many email addresses were swapped for further contact.

The theme was "jars of clay". In one session there was a quote from Carl Jung. It challenged me. It was about recognising that Jesus calls us to "love the least of these" but what if the person that needed our love and care was ourselves? It spoke to me about how I often put others way ahead of myself and am not very good at looking after me. I learnt that it's ok to have time off, it's ok to rest, it's ok to say no. Guess it's time to practise it. I'm so not good at this stuff but I am committed to trying.

So, I began today. I left work on time, even though my list of things to do seemed to be getting bigger and not smaller. For me it was a major step to actually walk away. It will take me a while to work out what caring for me actually looks like but I have high hopes that I will eventually get it.

2008-02-20T01:13:00.000-08:00

BOYS!

Having two boys (three if you count dear hubby) means that there is never a dull moment to be had. I have learnt over the years that boys need to play rough and tumble, need to be noisy and then need lots of food. I think I am a pretty good "boy" mum and am learning to watch them do things I would never dream of. Of late, this new found "boy" mum strength and resolve has been put to the test!

The oldest son, Caleb, has taken up BMX riding. He tootles off down the road to the local BMX track where he does unimaginable things on two wheels. I have to remind myself that this is considered an extreme sport, which I think just makes it all the more appealing to a pre teen.

The first hint of trouble came when he bailed on his bike on the downhill ride. Pretty spectacular and conveniently captured on film by dad. Here 'tis:

What follows is his face afterwards!

I am thankful he a) wasn't wearing his glasses and b) didn't knock any of his beautiful teeth out. We had a good laugh, did the appropriate amount of "You're so cool!" and told him to be careful.

5 days later he was back out on his bike, fell off, was carried home by a kind stranger and we went off to the medical clinic for an xray. All this resulting in several days on crutches and a bandaged foot for 2 weeks. He was gutted that a sprain meant mum wouldn't allow him back on the track until he was healed.

Last Friday was his first day back on the track in 2 weeks. Just 2 days later this is what happened:

After a fall from his bike, a huge gash in his leg and the calling of an ambulance, this is how he got down off the mountain. Then it was into the ambulance for a trip to hospital!

Finally, after several hours, xrays, pain relief, laughing gas, tears and broken fingers (mine that was....he squeezed them to death!) we ended up with 9 stithes in his leg......and at least another 2-3 weeks off his bike!

This morning he awoke to find the full face helmet and goggles that he had bought, on the front step. He can't wait to get back onto his bike. My "boy" mum resolve is waining but I can't wrap him in cotton wool. Guess I'll just take another deep breath and scrape up the pieces in the event of another accident :-)

2008-02-14T13:54:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day!

I'm such a softy! I love romance, pressies and days where you can just be nice to each other. It should happen everyday but the reality is that there are days when we just get grumpy with each other and forget to say how much we love and appreciate someone.Valentines is one chance in a year where we can love on each other which I think is great! This year, for me, it is more than just about me and Nige but also about showing appreciation and love to my boys and my staff. I took in a big box of chockies which we all enjoyed together and as a family we ate yummy food and special treats. It was a nice day. My darling not only bought me a rose (so sweet) but he also transferred our wedding video from VHS to DVD. How cute! He made it the day before and kept ringing me to tell me what he was watching. So sweet!

Marriage is a funny thing. There is all that hot, romantic love that happens before you get married and then as the years roll on that love matures into something beyond description. There is not a day that goes by that I would want to spend without my darling. I am grateful for his love and commitment to me and for always thinking I am beautiful, even on my ugly days :-)

Te Amo mi amor, hoy y para siempre!!

2008-02-02T00:11:00.000-08:00

A brief holiday in Taupo.

So it's the new year and we have been at work for just 2 1/2 weeks and then took another 2 weeks off to spend time with the boys and have a bit of a break. We've spent many lovely summer days at home and then decided to go to Taupo to visit Nigel's sister and hubby and baby girl, Saskia. It was a lovely couple of days.

To keep the boys entertained we found an adventure activity called "Rock 'n Ropes". It is a high wire, climbing/confidence course. You could choose from several different activities so we paid for the boys to choose one. We could have saved money and allowed them to choose 3 different ones to do but secretly we believed that they would freak out too much and not actually do it at all. Man, did they surprise us!

Here's Caleb:

This one was called the Trapeze. He had to climb this pole, stand on top with nothing to hold and then leap to catch onto the trapeze to the left. It's a frightening thing! The woman who was holding onto him with his safety rope was amazing and instilled confidence in him. She said that he had chosen to do the most mentally challenging activity on the whole course. I watched him as he scurried up the pole then stood at the top quite confidently. He quickly counted to 3 then leapt! He missed the trapeze but floated down on his safety harness. He had another go at it and this time everything seemed to go quicker. Before I knew it he was up the top and jumping as high as he could. This time he touched it and was really pleased with himself. Man, I couldn't do it!!!

Here's Isaac:

Isaac spied this activity and convinced himself to do it. It was the most physically challenging event and there is absolutely no way I could do it. It was a series of swinging poles, ropes and tyres to climb up, through and on until you reach the top and sit on the final tyre. It was interesting to watch him work through it all. He scurried up the pole and then had a wee freak out at the height he was reaching and the movement of the poles. He was quite upset but he wasn't going to let it stop him. He pushed through his panic and carried on. As he reached the first tyre he again had a panic attack and again he took control of himself and his emotions and carried on. You could see the battle that he was having with himself and the real temptation to give into it but he wouldn't let himself give up. Near the top he had quite a severe panic attack with hyperventilating and many tears. I was sure he would jump off and float to the ground on his harness but he surprised me and moved onwards and upwards. As he climbed into the final tyre and sat on the top he had the biggest grin I have ever seen. He knew that he had pushed himself to his physical and emotional limit and not given into the fear that he has lived with for much of his life. I couldn't have been prouder!

My boys are pretty cool kids when I think about it. They are indeed a blessing from God, even in the hard days :-) They teach me new things every day and I am very proud of them.

2008-01-21T12:53:00.000-08:00

Farewell Sir Edmund Hillary! A true kiwi.

Today the whole of New Zealand will stop to remember a truely great man. Sir Edmund Hillary died at the age of 88 on the 11th January 2008 and this morning will be his state funeral here in Auckland. It is a massive event. State funerals are held for governing Prime Ministers and Governors general but this is such a great man that it is only fitting for him to be farewelled as a nation. His family have been gracious enough to allow a whole country to mourn his passing and celebrate his life.

He is most famous for his historic climb of Mount Everest, the highest mountain in the world in 1953. He and Tenzing Norgay were the first people to reach the summit. It was a massive undertaking for a humble New Zealand bee keeper. He has then spent his life helping improve the educational and medical opportunites of the Sherpa people in Nepal. This is how he wants to be remembered. He was just a kiwi bloke. extremely humble, very loving and very gentle.

He is forever immortalised on our $5 note, the only living person to ever feature on our bank notes. It is our most used note and millions of New Zeaand people now hold that very dearly. There has been talk of renaming our tallest mountain to recognise him, or to have national holiday in honour of him. However we decide to celebrate his life and achievements he will not be quickly forgotten.

We are proud to be New Zealanders today. This is an historic day that will live on in my memory and my children's memories for many, many years.

Ka kite ano Sir Ed!

2008-01-09T12:59:00.000-08:00

He Reigns!

When I think about why I am involved in missions I always come back to this video and song from the Newsboys. "He Reigns" would have to be my heartbeat for missions. Every time I hear it I get goose bumps and a little tear in my eye. So here it is for you to share and enjoy.

Can't you see it? Every nation, tribe and tongue singing praises to God, all at the same time. What a thrill!!!! I so want to be a part of that moment in time when all fall on their knees and worship Him. Can't wait!!

2008-01-08T14:42:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year and welcome to 2008!

It's hard to believe that 2007 has finished although if I have to be honest I'm not sad to see the back of it. It was a pretty sucky year.....crappy could be a better word. My hopes for 2008 are that it will be a more settled year for everyone in my family and that we will continue to learn how to live in NZ and what it means to be a "kiwi". Hopefully that whole learning and growing process will be less painful than last year's one :-) I feel so much more positive about all that this year holds. I'm sure it is going to be full of challenges and surprises but that sounds like fun!

Christmas and New Year were great. It was nice to be able to spend it with family and be able to host them in our own home. I cooked a wonderful turkey (if I do say so myself) and ate far too much, but that's to be expected I guess. We closed the office down from the 22nd December until the 7th Jan so we have had a good break and managed to have lots of fun with the boys who are on their summer break. We're only back in the office for a couple of weeks and then we are having our official holiday which I am looking forward to. It will be so nice to hang out with the boys and do some more fun things. We have it all planned including boat trips to islands to climb, beach visits, junk food and of course some shopping thrown in for the lady of the house!

I hope that your 2008 looks like a good one and that you will know God's richest blessings in it.

2007-12-19T12:26:00.000-08:00

Meri Kirihimete! Feliz Navidad! Merry Christmas!

I love this time of year. Not only is it busy and therefore totally exhilarating for an extrovert like me, but it's when we get to hang out with family and friends and enjoy each others company. This year is the first time that I get to cook Christmas dinner for my family. What fun! I've been planning menus and shopping for months so all that is to happen this weekend is to clean the house, buy the strawberries and cream and have fun while everyone is caught up in the last minute panic. We are closing the office until the 7th January so we are in for a great break.....and hopefully some lovely, summer weather.

The flower above is from the Pohutukawa tree, New Zealand's Christmas tree. The large, full tree blooms over Christmas and often lines the streets and beaches. It is just gorgeous! We planted a little one outside our house and it should bloom soon. It is a definate reminder that we are back in NZ.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! Enjoy your time with family and friends, remembering together that the Son of God came as a baby to grow and learn like us and then die for us so that we might be with God. How cool is that!

With love and blessings to you all

Richelle

2007-12-12T16:14:00.000-08:00

House Renovations

October was a frantic month for me, mainly by my own doing. I decided that I wanted to do up our wee house and make it more our own. That meant painting 2 bedrooms and creating a new garden. Dear hubby would roll his eyes as I outlined my plan but he lovingly helped look after the children while I created a unique space for each of us.

First to be hit was Isaac. His favourite colour is orange, and it has been ever since he was very little so it was only natural that his room would include it. I had taken the boys to choose their own colours which they really enjoyed although mummy was on hand to give some creative direction. In just a weekend I had completely changed his room and by the end of it it was even tidy! (No mean feat in a boys room!) He was thrilled. The next weekend was the rose garden. Ever since I can remember I have always dreamed of a rose and lavender garden but having always rented homes we were never able to complete one. It was a BIG job digging up grass, turning the soil and planting the plants but the outcome was just gorgeous. I have been enjoying the roses since. Then the following weekend it was our room's turn to be made over.....in red! Now I have to admit that there were many people who have questioned my colour choices but not a one of them has a bad word to say about the final outcome. And if I was truly honest I would have to say that there were times (after I had bought the paint) that I wondered what it would look like in the end but I'm pleased to say it looks fab!!!!

I love to be creative and I love colour....bright, bold colours. My family would expect nothing less of me then to speak loudly when colours come into play. Definitely no pastels for me! I miss being creative and have found art and music a hard thing to find time for in my busy life. One day I dream of learning how to dance with my hubby, of creating works of art that inspire and encourage, of wistful days full of colour and fun. Those days will come in time and I'm going to make the most of them when they do. Until then I will take pleasure in the simple things and enjoy the amazing colours that God has put into place throughout creation.

2007-12-10T00:12:00.000-08:00

Riding the waves of change.....again!

My darling is home again after travelling in Asia for the last 2 1/2 weeks. It's nice to have him home again but with it comes still more change.

The boys and I find that when he goes away it always takes us a litle while to settle ourselves into our new routines and expectations. We kind of get ourselves settled and then he comes home again. That always requires another change in routine.

We are always really excited as we count down to his arrival. This week I have spent many hours tidying the house and organising things so I could spend time with him when he got home. I didn't sleep well last night as I ran through our reunion and all the things I wanted to finish before he arrrived and then I was up super early this morning to arrange all the last minute things. The boys and I skipped school and work and went out for lunch on our way to the airport which was nice. We were all really excited to see him. He was through customs and immigration really quickly and soon we were on our way home. And then it happened....an arguement! All over a misunderstanding but it was all about re-adjustng ourselves to each other again. Silly how that happens. Most of the trip home was in silence with just the boys chattering about what pressies their dad had brought them.

Don't get me wrong. I do love having him home again, I just hate having to ride those waves of change yet again. Things will be better tomorrow. I think I've spent 5 minutes alone with him since he arrived and now he is snoring away soundly in the bedroom. The boys have had some nice time with him which is good. I'll get a couple of hours tomorrow between work and when the kids arrive home from school. It's not enough by far but we are taking Friday off to celebrate our wedding anniverary so I will hang out till then. We'll have to plan something nice to do together.

Thankfully there are no more trips planned until at least February and before then we will have a couple of weeks holidays together as a family. That will be nice. We're not very good at taking a break so we're all looking forward to that time. We're hoping to improve next year and have already marked out holidays and weekends fo breaks away from work. I just hope we're good enough to stick to the plan. We'll see :-)

2007-12-02T19:06:00.000-08:00

I'm struggling with Church.

It's not that I don't believe in it it's just that I don't like what it has become. To be honest we haven't really been much this past school term. In fact I could probably count the number of times I've attended since August on just one hand. I haven't been going to my women's bible study either mainly due to work pressures and family stuff.

We have been attending the same church all year. The boys love it and I guess I realised on Sunday that we need to keep going for them. The friends that they have made and the good influence of their leaders are what they need in their wee lives. But what's in it for me? I looked aound on Sunday and thought about the sturcture of the service. Why do a bunch of people, who don't really know each other, stand and sing together? The whole singing thing just seems wierd. The performing aspect of worship leaders and musicians drives me nuts. I feel like I'm in school when someone stands at the front and lectures me. I've sat through many a sermon in my life and many a service and they just all seem to be missing the mark. Not that it's about me! I know that but I'm feeing isolated and foreign in my worship.

People who I have been talking to regularly this year or I have prayed with don't remember me the next week. No one has called me to say "where have you been? How are things going?" Do they assume I'm ok because I'm a missionary? They shouldn't, 'cos I'm not.

I fully believe in the community of God's people. I guess, for me, that's my work community. We have devotions every moning, sing together (at least here it makes sense), and pray for one another. We have shared communion, tears and joys and it's far more meaningful to me than the big church thing. I don't know what we are going to do next year. Unfortunately Nigel feels much the same so that doesn't help things. I guess we'll think and pray about it over the Christmas break and see where the Lord is leading us. It's a tough one.

2007-11-20T16:45:00.000-08:00

Another Gold Star for me and another 5 kilos down. That's a total of over 10 kilos (22lbs) lost!!!! Yippee!!!! My aim is to reach my 10% body weight loss by Christmas which is easily achievable (or so I think today).

With any milestone being reached we are asked to share with the others in the group our pearls of wisdom. For me it was something that the leader had said the previous week. It was just a 2 word phrase but it rang true in my head....."Expect success". That was it. "Expect success". I wrote it down on every page of my journal and saw it every day as I tracked what I was eating or even as I was just sitting watching TV. It rang true in my head and heart and obviously changed my perspective on a few things. I realised that I have always been happy to accept whatever came my way. I never really put high expectations on myself and certainly never gave myself any weight loss goals to achieve except to be fit and healthy by the time I turn 40. I guess with a change in attitude and thinking to always "expect success" I will achieve that goal and with a more determined path to it.

This morning as I left the house the thought struck me that perhaps my life has always been marked by my lack of successful expectation. I am the kind of person who can generally wing her way through things and achieve a successful outcome but perhaps I need to be a bit more determined in hunting down that success rather than happening on it by chance.

My leader will be so pleased with me! It's amazing how two little words can make a big difference in how we view the world.

2007-10-31T15:27:00.000-07:00

School work has changed a lot since my day! Makes me sound old but the coolest thing I got to do in a days work was use three colours of felt tip pens to decorate my headings!! I was the hipist thing around :-)

Caleb has been working through various modules at school including cooking, woodwork and music. These past six weeks he has been working on a computer animation which he proudly showed us yesterday. I think he's pretty clever. What do you reckon?

2007-10-31T00:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I blogged. Sorry about that guys. I've managed to steal the computer off the kids tonight and shoo them all out of the room so for a few minutes at least I have a little space. It's nice to sit quietly. I don't seem to have too much of that time at the moment.

Work has been hectic as we brought 2 new staff members into our personnel team and I have been the one helping them, orientating them and answering all their questions. I feel like I am literally running around the office then racing home to the boys and hooning round the city dropping kids off at their various actvities. It has been a really busy few weeks and I don't see it getting much quieter any time soon. Although I do have to admit to also pushing myself at home to get things done which is another post in itself. God has been teaching me things about myself which will make it here when I can find another spare moment.

Anyway this is a lighter post. I have managed to catch up on some friends blogs and have seen a couple of cute videos which might cheer you up. The first is a fun look at language learning and thr sometimes inane things we actually learn.

This next one is all about mother's and the many words we use in a day. I have to admit to finding bits funny because they reflect my own language use. You'll see what I mean.

Hope these have brightened your day a little. Blessings!

2007-10-09T17:41:00.000-07:00

Meet Saskia Lily Connors born Sunday 30 September 2007 and cute as a button!!!!!

This past week has been full of excitement for us as a family as we welcomed wee Saskia into our extended family. She is the first born daughter of Nigel's youngest sister and her husband. We have prayed for her for many years and have trusted the Lord to bring her into the world after Jill and her husband suffered 4 miscarriages in just 3 years. It has been heart breaking for us all but especially for them. Saskia is the product of much prayer and pleading with God. She is a very special baby indeed.

As soon as she was born we raced down to Rotorua and Taupo to meet her and have plenty of cuddles. She is so little, just 7lb 11oz (my boys were never that small!) and man, what a placid baby she is! They tell me she has a good set of lungs on her but from what I saw I don't believe them. My boys were so proud to be able to hold her and kiss her. They know how special she is and just delighted in her.

I love babies! I'm very glad not to have to do the whole sleepless nights and dirty nappies again. It's cool being an aunty. you get to hug them, spoil them then hand them back. What fun!

2007-09-24T15:25:00.000-07:00

I'm Home and feeling great!

I know that might not sound like much but after all my world travels recently it is nice to be home and hanging out with my boys. Needless to say they were thrilled to see me which was nice. They literally hung off me for my first week home, always pouncing on me and hanging off me whenever there was a spare leg or arm to go around. They loved their gifts that we had bought (always a bonus).

Nige came home last week and brough with him more goodies. Even some for me which I love! I have to admit though that it has taken a little adjusting for us all to be back together again. Just a matter of realigning ourselves with each others annoying little habits! Not that I have any mind! We are all back at work this week although it is school holidays again so I am trying to get as much done while looking after the boys full time and organising a big list of things to do.

My big hooray though was when I went to Weight Watchers upon my arrival. I was thrilled to only have put on 400g in the whole time I was away. That was amazing!!!! Last time I went away to a conference I put on 1.5kg in a week so this feat in just 4 weeks was awesome. It has been hard to get back into counting points again and even sticking to what I am allowed but I will just have to pull my brain back into line and get on top of it again.

One of the good things about being away is coming home and this time it felt like I was coming "home". A really nice feeling to be settled and enjoying life again in the place the Lord has me.

2007-09-07T01:39:00.000-07:00

The trip back to Niamey was supposed to be a cruisy flight of just 2 hours but again plans changed. The plane was not able to get to us in Maradi due to the weather so after waiting 4 hours for a final decision to be made we realised we had to go by road. I was prepared for anything but a plane ride would have been nicer!!!!

We are so thankful for the Nicholson family (kiwis) who were travelling to Niamey that day. We hitched a ride with them and set off. The first part of the trip was to Galmi where we rested the night in the guest house run by still more kiwis. That meant 3 hours had been done and we slept well that evening. Unfortunately the morning came round too soon and at 5 AM we piled into the cars again and began the marathon drive to the capital. Many had spoken of how bad the roads were but I'm not sure I believed them until we got onto them:-)

We had divided ourselves on gender lines....the boys in the HiLux and the girls in the Toyota sedan. Many a time we were lured into a false sense of security as we whizzed along tar sealed roads only to find huge pot holes in the middle of the roads. And when I say huge I mean HUMUNGOUS!!!! There were times when I was sure our wee car would be swallowed whole by the gaping caverns. The boys just flew over them all but Frouke took her time and took great care of the car. Many a time the tar seal disappeared and we were left to drive through thick, red, slushy sand also with huge holes. We liked it when the boys were ahead of us as we could see the holes and work our way around them but often they would hoon off and forget us girls. We travelled on detours of detours as roads were wiped out due to flooding. We sat, trapped by two big trucks as they tried to fight each other for the little passing space that there was. We drove through ditches that had been filled with tree branches to stop you getting totally stuck and then we met up with a huge traffic jam where trucks had spun off the road and caused a back up that would last for hours. All the time I was fearful that we wouldn't make it in time to catch our flight this morning but God was good and kept us and our vehicles safe. We snuck onto a new road that had been closed off by trees and bulldozers but that wasn't going to stop ingenious kiwis from going where they needed to. We just drove off road, round them all!

Twice we had toilet stops. I hate public loos but couldn't hold on any longer. The first was my first ever squat pit loo complete with horrible smells that made me gag and millions of mosquitoes buzzing in the nether regions. The second was a millet farm where I squatted behind a tall plant hoping no one could see me from the road. Little did I know but a Nigerien was riding behind me on his horse and got a full view of my little white behind! You've just gotta laugh!!!!

Nine hours later we arrived into Niamey totally exhausted but thankful for the Lord's protection and mercy. My African experience was complete. With 3 more days travel ahead of me I am tired but really excited to be heading home to NZ and my boys. I have missed them terribly so am looking forward to lots of snuggles and kisses. This afternoon we fly into London and then I will hit the sack again before my marathon 26 hour flight back to Auckland tomorrow. Nige leaves me and heads for the USA but he will be home again in just 10 days. I'm really looking forward to hanging out as a family again.

I have so much to tell the boys of my adventures. More than I could possibly write. It has been a thrill to see how the Lord has been using kiwis just like me in Niger.I do miss being on the field, at the core of missions work but then again it was such a joy to see kiwis thriving in difficult places. I'm glad I can go back and send some more.

PS...I was told to look out for giraffes as we travelled yesterday but despite 9 hours of looking I never saw one. How disappointing. Nevertheless I found this one so thought I'd pop him in here :-)

2007-09-07T01:05:00.000-07:00

Niger!

What a trip! Just a few minutes ago we arrived back in Casablanca, Morocco after spending 10 days in Niger. We have had a whirlwind visit but a great time all in all. The weather was gorgeous....quite like Guayaquil in the hot season and then again in the cooler season when the rains began. It was nice to sweat again after freezing our butts off in NZ this past winter. As can be expected in Africa things did not always go according to plan but we were flexible o see where the Lord was leading us.

After arriving in the capital, Niamey, early Wednesday morning we visited Sahel Academy which is a missio school established by SIM. It was exciting to see people really enthusiastic about ministering to kids. Great stuff. The next morning we jumped on the SIM Air plane (a little Saratoga Piper, 4 seater) and flew to Galmi. It was a beautiful day to fly and we saw so much of Niger from the air. It was fun to land on the dry, red sand airstrip with all the village kids and young mums running out to see us. Thankfully they had scared off the cows!!!

Galmi is a mission hospital established by SIM many years ago. I'm not very good in hospitals as the smells and sights of sick people make me quite squiffy (nauseous). I did do very well though and even got to goo over newborn twins. So cute!!!

My African experience was almost complete the next day when I got dreadfully sick. The old vomiting and diarrhoea with high, high fever. Not nice at all. Thankfully I was in the right place as I had doctors fussing over me and people visiting my room to take blood samples. No malaria was present so I was even more grateful for that. After 24 hours of feeling like total crap I perked up and was able to travel the next day to Maradi where we currently have 2 kiwi families living. It was great to be able to see them in their context and get a feel for their struggles and joys. All the families we saw are doing so well. I was so proud of them!

Maradi is a biggish town and we enjoyed poking in the markets and seeing the many ministries that are going on there. We visited a tree planting project, a Bible translation project and even another hospital (this time I nearly did puke!) I faithfully wore my skirt and head covering every day which was driving me nuts by the end of it. I'm so glad I could wear what was comfortable in Ecuador. Yesterday I rebelled and wore my capri pants but regretted that decision when I had to pee behind millet plants in the middle of nowhere!!!!! But that's another story.

2007-08-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

The trip continues!

It seems ages since I left NZ and began this big trip. I am really missing my boys but I know they are doing well at home with the grandparents. Nige joined me in London last week and we have been tripping around since. Currently we are sitting in the airport at Casablanca, Morocco awaiting our flight to Niger.

We have had a great couple of days here experiencing Moroccan culture. We have managed to ride a camel, eat pomegranates, relax at the beach and shop at the markets. All heaps of fun. At times we felt as though we were back home in Ecuador. Things are very similar except the fact that they speak French and Arabic and the women are covered from head to toe. The men still leer at the women and I did feel a little underdressed in my capri pants at times but all in all it was fun.

The weather has been a lot warmer than in England for which we are very thankful. It honestly couldn't have gotten much colder! Now we head into 40 degree temps so expect to sweat a lot more. I have my skirts and head scarf packed so I suspect I will be quite hot most days.

In the next 10 days I am hopping on 10 different planes. Not too enthralling I'm afraid. My tail bone is already really sore and the seats on the planes seem to be made in such a way that I'm always sitting on it and hurting it more. I guess I'll pop some pain killers and that should help.

It's nearly time to board so I must pull out my French dictionary and try and learn a little more than hi and thanks. I'm thankful for people in Niger who will be able to speak for me. Still half the fun is in the trying.

2007-08-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

Greetings from England!!!!

I've been here for the past 5 days and it hasn't stopped raining since! They say this is the worst summer in 50 years but I think it's like this all the time. It has drizzled and been grey ever since I arrived.

The great thing though is that I have seen some amazing countryside and the manor where SIM UK has it's offices and guest house is incredible. It's like living in a castle. There is an amazing story as to how the Lord provided for them. The manor is just gorgeous.

The meetings are going well. It is so inspiring to be around professional communicators who have a passion to see God's mighty deeds shared with the world. I mentioned the other day that I dreamed of being a journalist when I was younger but for various reasons that never happened. Now I feel like God has brought me back full circle with a way by which I can express myself and God's work creatively. There is much that I can and want to accomplish in the communications area in NZ it will just be a matter of time and resources. Watch this space!

Nigel is currently flying the world to catch up with me. He should be landing in London in just a few hours so I'm really looking forward to seeing him. The boys are doing okay at home although they are missing us both terribly. Caleb has been sick a couple of times this week with a migraine and ear infection so that has been hard to be away as a mum. I'm so grateful for caring grandparents.

After we leave here on Saturday Nige and I are going to do the sights of London including the London eye. Should be a fun weekend and we'll have to make sure there is a visit to an English pub as well.

2007-08-12T17:12:00.000-07:00

One Year On.

Yesterday was one whole year since we left our beloved Guayaquil. We can't believe where the year has gone. So much has happened....good and not so good. I've just written a newsletter updating people on where we are at and it caused me to reflect on the past 365 days. As I said before...where has the time gone?

To celebrate we went up the sky tower here in Auckland. It is the tallest building in the southern hemisphere and has a revolving restaurant. What fun to see over Auckland city. It really is quite breathtaking with the water surrounding it, the boats, the tall buildings and the volcanoes. You really must come sometime :-)

So here are a few picis of our afternoon out.

The Sky tower, right in the heart of Auckland City

With my two lovely boys.

The thing to do is to bungy jump off the top of the tower! Here a brave soul (hanging in mid air in the blue and yellow suit) tries it. Not my cup of tea!

In the observation deck there are glass floors that you can walk over. Caleb and I did it but it was fun to watch others edge around it. Here Caleb is lying on the lfoor, thundreds of metres up in the air.

The boys had fun making this photo.

2007-08-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

I just love it!!!! Makes me giggle every time I see it. It also reminds me that in a couple of weeks this will be me....but having to deal with French!

Our big trip is upon us. I leave Friday 17th August for a week in London for the SIM Communications consultation. This is where all the people involved in media/communication work in SIM get together to ponder the bigger issues and get inspired. I'm going in my role as NZ Editor of our magazine, "Serving in mission Together." I'm really looking forward to the time away although I must admit that I'm not so keen on the long haul flights by myself. It's something like 28 hours to get to London with just a brief stop in the middle somewhere.

Nige is meeting me in London on the 23rd and then when the conference finishes we are stopping off in Morocco for a couple of day en route to Niger. This is where we are going to be spending the bulk of our time, travelling the country, encouraging our kiwis there and having our first African experience. We are really looking forward to it although the French is going to throw us a little! I studied French in high school and only know a little...enough to introduce myself, count to 10, ask if they speak English and maybe a swear word or two :-) Not sure how far that is actually going to get me. But we are going to make the most of it and I hope to see some giraffes while I'm there.

After 2 weeks there we hop back on a plane to London where Nige and I part ways....him heading to the USA for meetings and me back to NZ. After 3 1/2 weeks away I will be well and truely ready to be home again. The boys are staying in NZ with grandparents who will look after them. It will be the longest time that we have all been apart so there are going to be some tough days. They have primed us up to buy them pressies from every country we visit so that's their incentive to letting us go so far away.

I'm not sure that I will get to post while I'm away but will try. Otherwise I'll just have to recount all my experiences when I get back. This week is hectic with all the things that need to be done before I go, one of which is our one year anniversary of leaving Ecuador. Can't believe the year has gone by already. We're going out for lunch together as a family so that will be special. Hopefully I'll get to write about that before I leave as we're going to a really neat place.

Until then it's time to get some more work done and then it's onto packing. I thought I had finished with all that!!!!!

2007-07-24T17:06:00.000-07:00

The Haka.

For those of you who know New Zealand at all or for those of you who have ever seen the All Blacks play rugby you will know that the Haka is a traditional Maori dance. It is very spirited and revs up even the most timid Kiwi. When you are away from your home country it can even bring a tear to the eye :-)

My eldest son was sent this version of it the other day and I liked it so much I thought I'd share it with you after all my heavy posts of late (more to come). Do enjoy a take on Maori culture.

2007-07-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

As I look at the ticker above I see that we are fast approaching the one year anniversary of our departure from our beloved Ecuador. I can't believe it has been a whole year! At times it seems like it was just yesterday and other times it feels like the place never really existed. It's another part of balance that I'm not coping particularly well with.

I'm finding it difficult to keep both parts of my life on some kind of equal level. There are days when I really miss Ecuador and my special friendships there and then there are days when I actually enjoy living in NZ. But when I feel happy to be here I feel as though I am betraying the love and care of those I have left so far away. I find it tough to keep memories and my life now all together in my brain. Most of the time I seem to push one to the side and try to concentrate on the other. At the moment I am trying so hard to keep it together here in NZ that Ecuador hardly features at all and then when I think I am doing well something reminds me of all that I have lost and I lose it completely. I try not to allow myself to grieve or remember as it is so painful and I feel as though I can't keep doing a good job pretending that all is okay here. Does that even make sense? I have so many emails from my friends in Ecuador and I haven't responded to them in months. I feel terrible about it and it makes me feel worse but how do I explain to them the inner battle that I have everytime I remember them? I long so much to just talk to them but even thinking about calling them makes me run for the bed covers and hide. Nige has spoken to them a couple of times and I have been secretly glad that I was out when he did so I didn't have to speak to them myself. Doesn't that sound horrible!What I really want is just to see them and hug them, to take them out for coffee and dessert or empanadas, to just hang with them but that's not possible and that's what hurts.

The other day in church the woman who prayed for us looked at me and said that she could sense that I had deep grief which I wasn't allowing out. How true was that! I hold it all in to protect myself and my family. I hold it in so that I can be strong for everyone else in my family who is falling apart. I have to be the strong one. I have to be the one they can rely on and turn to when everything else turns to custard. I know that one day I won't be able to hold on any longer. One day it will all just fall out of me and I will finally get to grieve for my heartland. I'm scared that once I start I will never stop crying.

I guess I had better stop here. My eyes are moistening up and I still have emails to answer. I think we might just have to do something special together as a family on the 12th August to remember and celebrate our Ecuadorian-ness. Perhaps I should go hunting for plantain and make Caldo de bolas. Que Rico!!!

2007-07-17T18:09:00.000-07:00

Keeping your life in balance is a tough thing to do sometimes. I haven't written for quite a while because I just haven't been able to bring my head into a space to be able to do so. There is so much running through it that I chose to steer clear of writing it all down. Now that I've worked through some stuff I'll post over the next couple of days what has been happening. Needless to say it's all about balance.

The past two weeks have been school holidays so I have been mainly at home with the kids. The first week Nige and I took as holidays and tried to do something fun every day with them. We went to the city centre on the train then walked for hours up and down the main street. We went ten pin bowling, shopped, took in a couple of movies, had a late night up where we watched videos and ate popcorm until midnight and other things. At times we all had fun but all of us were very tired and stressed so most days ended up with someone being grumpy and that getting us all in a foul mood. Not pleasant at all! We were glad to get back into some kind of routine the next week with Nige and I balancing the kids and our jobs.

We tried to begin a bible study group with some young marrieds at church so I spent the day cooking desserts and cleaning. All to no avail. No one turned up!!! At least in NZ you can actually get to a certain time after the start time and say no one was coming whereas in Ecuador everyone's sense of timing is so up the wop they could still turn up 2 hours later and be on time. In the end we took our desserts to a friends house and shared them with them which was nice. We weren't too disappointed and will try again next week but this time I'm not making so much to eat :-)

It's just been a really hard month of late. Work has been so busy and stressful for both of us that that has impacted on our home life. The boys have been busy, tired and stressed (more on that later) that they have been unbearable to live with and Nige and I have also been having trouble keeping in check our grief at leaving Ecuador. It tends to sneak up on you when you are feeling most vulnerable. One Sunday we went forward for prayer and since then have had much better days. God just seemed to step in a lift our burdens and heartache. He's good like that huh? I'm so glad I have him to rely on. Some days that's all that gets me through. I remember once being told that cultural change is like being tossed about in the boat on the sea. The sea can be fierce at times and holding on difficult but the boat (God) remains the same. He will always be my refuge. I'm so thankful for that.

So I'll ty and post more later. I'm doing this while at work....the only place I seem to be able to use the computer. Hope the boss doesn't mind :-)

2007-06-24T18:44:00.000-07:00

Injections! I hate them!!

I feel like a pin cushion sometimes. It seems that I have had more than the normal person when it comes to jabs. I guess living overseas means you need to be up to date on all those nasty bugs like typhoid, rabies, yellow fever, meningitis, TB, tetanus etc etc etc (the list could go on for ages!) This past week Nige and I have been updating our jabs in preparation for a big trip to Africa in August (I'll tell you all about that another time). That means that between us we have had 9 injections! Nige was brave enough to have all his on one day but I spread mine over a couple of days. They have left my arm red and sore, not to mention a little itchy and blistered. The biggest hassle has been my mantoux (the TB indicator jab in your forearm). If you have antibodies you have a small reaction....mine was massive. So big in fact that the nurse called the Doctor in for a look. They promptly sent me off for a chest xray and blood tests as well as several urine tests all with the purpose of checking that I am actually TB free. The only good thing to come of all this is that I can't ever have another mantoux which I am quite thankful for (apparently the reaction only gets worse everytime). So that was my last week and this week taken up with bldod tests. Yuck! I guess it's all in the name of good health.

2007-06-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

This week I reached my first 5 kilos lost! YAY!!! That meant that I received a bookmark with my first gold star to mark those 5 kilos. For every 5 you lose you get another gold star. What a great feeling. It has taken me ages to get here but it is great now that I've reached this first milestone. It makes the rest of my journey look possible.

We are invited to give a pearl of wisdom when we receive our award. Mine was "Don't give up". It doesn't matter how much you might have fallen off the wagon one day or one week there is always a blank page the next day so you can start over. That's how I live sometimes. I think it's a good motto as well in our every day life. No matter how much you might have stuffed up you can always start afresh tomorrow and not look back.

Be encouraged today.

2007-06-06T18:09:00.000-07:00

Goodnight Kiwi was a hit as I was growing up. I didn't get to see it very often as it was played at the closing down of broadcasting on the TVNZ network. He has become quite iconic and was only taken off air once the TV station went to 24 hour broadcasts. This is a trip down memory lane for me and many other kiwis.

2007-06-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

Autumn!

It is such a beautiful time of the year and one that I have missed out on for the past 8 years as Ecuador has just two seasons a year...wet and dry. As I sit in my office and gaze out the window I see trees still changing the colour of their leaves. The wind blows and causes them to flutter gracefully to the ground below. What a sight! I have been watching the treess on the sides of the road as I drive home. The colours are vibrant and varied. Reds, oranges and yellows. Like tongues of fire crackling in the cooler weather.

The majority of New Zealand's native trees are evergreen. they don't change colour but remain a vibrant green throughout the year. As you walk through the native forests you are hit with the wetness of the moss and ponga ferns as they grow in the shade of the great kauri trees. It is all quite stunning. But being a girl who just adores colour (you should see my house!) I am in awe of God's handiwork as he paints each leaf a different shade.

Now that the big trees in the centre of my office window have shed their leaves I get the most stunning view stretching across the harbour to the peninsula on the other side. When the sun hits the glistening water everything just seems right in the world. There is a huge Norfolk pine tree which stands tall and proud and remains green while the rest of the view is dotted with the colours of Autumn. Now those of you in the Northern Hemisphere will have to wait to enjoy all these colours but I do envy you a little as you enter into summer weather, beaches, picnics and ice creams. Still today, I wouldn't trade my million dollar view for anything!

2007-06-05T18:31:00.000-07:00

A new family photo What do you think?

It was taken as a school fundraiser for Isaac's school which is quite a good idea. The pose is a bit formal for us. We are usually much more casual but it's still cute don't you think? I like to have updated picis as the boys change so much in such a short amount of time. We have always tried to send out a new prayer card every year. It's really fun to see what they have all been like. We have one friend who has every one on his fridge, dating all the way back to just us and Caleb (now that's a long time ago).

It's birthday time this next week. Both boys have parties so I will be busy making cakes and organising games etc. I can't believe my baby will be 10 and my eldest is nearly a teenager. Where did the time go?

2007-06-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

So I'm A Snap Dragon. It sounds horrible but the description is as follows: "Mischief is your middle name, but your first is friend. You are quite the prankster that loves to make other people laugh."

Sounds like me....don't you think?

I am a
Snapdragon

What Flower
Are You?

2007-05-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

An Australian Trip

One of the reasons I haven't written much recently is that I have been traveling. At the beginning of May I flew just 3 hours to Sydney, Australia for a personnel consultation for SIM. What a great time I had! I arrived a couple of days early so that i could hang out with my Aunt who I hadn't seen for several years.
On our first day together she must have driven me all round Sydney to see the sights. I had never been there before even though it is so close to home. We drove over the Harbour birdge and round the Opera House. It's architecture really is quite something to see. Then we drove round several beaches including Bondi Beach which is well known for it's surfing. It was a beautiful day to do all this as well and was quite spectacular. I managed to get a little shopping in for the lads back at home in NZ which I always enjoy doing. I had been sent on a mission to find a kangaroo exactly like the one Isaac had lost the year before. What a job that turned out to be!!!! It was so important to him that everytime he talked to me on the phone he cried because I hadn't found "Jack" yet. God knew how big a thing it was for him and thankfully i found one in a shop at the airport as I was a bout to leave the country. He was thrilled and it hasn't been out of his sight since!

The next day all the SIM sending office Personnel people from around the world (South Africa, USA, UK, NZ, Australia, Canada, Singapore and Korea) met up and we travelled 2 hours south of Sydney, into the bush, where we stayed at this campsite for the rest of the week. It was a gorgeous setting with thousands of gum trees and a beautiful river just down the path from our cabins. What a peaceful place to be. The only bummer was that I didn't have cell phone coverage but when we went for walks I managed to pick up the odd signal so was able to stay in touch with home.

We worked hard everyday from early in the morning until mid evening. It was tiring but was also an excellent way for me to get my head around issues in the SIM world and network with others from different offices. It gave me space to think about how we do things here in the NZ office and ways in which we could improve oursleves. I learnt how thankful I am to work in the NZ office as we have a lot of freedom to develop great relationships with our missios and encourage/mentor them. What a privilege. All in all it was a great week away. I missed the lads terribly but we all survived our time apart. They had a nice party for me when I got home and the next day was Mothers Day so it was extra special.

PS....On one of our walks we saw a real, live wombat! He was so cute (this is him here....thanks Laura for the pici) He was just sitting in the long grass as we walked by and didn't seem bothered by our presence at all. At the time I was talking to Isaac on the phone and he thought it was a pretty cool thing to see. No koalas or kangaroos though. Maybe next time.

2007-05-27T15:15:00.000-07:00

Persimmons!

I've discovered persimmons.

They are a sweet, pear like fruit that looks like an under ripe tomato. Actually it looks like a "ripe" tomato if you go by an Ecuadorian definition of "ripeness". I have to admit to being a little sceptical when I first saw someone eat them. My recollection of these fruit was when my family moved to Auckland when I was 16 and we had a persimmon tree in the back yard. We had no idea what to do with them so when we thought they were ripe we ate one. It was like chewing on a hunk of cornflour....it sucked all the saliva out of our mouths! Not pleasant in the least. In those days we were told that you had to wait until they were almost rotten to eat them and then they were delicious but the thought of eating almost rotten fruit did not enthrall us at all so we didn't bother. These days you can eat them crunchy. They must have developed a new brand of them.

Since discovering them I have eaten one a day for the last couple of weeks. No one else in the family really likes them. They're not as adventurous as me :-) But then again I don't have to share them so I don't mind. I wonder how long their season is? It would be great if they lasted all winter but somehow I doubt it.

2007-05-23T15:18:00.000-07:00

Confusion! Total and utter confusion!!

That's me. Things have been quite overwhelming these past couple of weeks....hence no new posts. But I will rectify that in the next wee while and bring you up to date with all that has been going on.

Today is the last day of the last remaining full time personnel worker in the office. That means we go from 3 full time workers to just 2 part time ones and I'm heading the team...the team of 2 that is! I have spent the better part of these past couple of weeks trying to get my head around all the systems and procedures that are already in place. We have been looking at revamping the way we do things and I think it will go well for us and the people we serve. With Jen leaving today that means that tomorrow I can finally get settled at my desk with a phone and hopefully a computer that doesn't keep crashing on me (oh the joys of a PC when you're a Mac girl!!!!)We will begin to look for a third person to join the team but until then Sean and I will hold the fort.

I keep telling Nige that my brian feels mushy and he always replies, "Welcome to my world!" It seems that as you dig a little deeper things get muddier and murkier. Not all hopeless though, it just means that the future looks very busy. Fun though :-)

So that's me now. A working woman, mother and wife etc. It is kind of weird having to go into an office for work when I am so used to just stopping at my computer in my bedroom and working there. It's a nice change though.

More later. So much to write about and so little time. I'm off to chat to the guy who works on our computers and hopefully get some things sorted out.

2007-05-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

What's your Visual DNA?

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

2007-05-01T15:05:00.000-07:00

These past couple of weeks I have been praying fervently for a good friend who is struggling with the actions of her son. He has made some wrong choices and must face up to the consequences of his actions. This, of course, impacts on the whole family and has broken the hearts of his parents. I have been sympathetic in my prayers, asking for wisdom, patience and love for them as they deal with the things at hand. Little did I realise that things weren't so hot in my own household.

Yesterday we were called to school regarding the actions of one of our own kids. Things were so bad that dire consequences were called for. We were so angry that we were incredibly calm with him! He knew then he was in big trouble!!! It broke my heart that my child had chosen the wrong path and now had to face the consequences....we all have had to.

This whole incident has made me reflect on how we are all handling the change back to NZ. I can't blame that entirely for his actions. He has to learn to deal with peer pressure around him and make the right choice all the time. But I do believe it has something to do with it. We are all struggling at the moment in our own ways. We are all facing decisions on a daily basis that we have never had to make before and there is always an opportunity to make the wrong choice. As parents we need to be more vigilant in helping/guiding our children to do what Jesus would do and stand firm. It is a daily task and one that requires much prayer and wisdom. It's heartening to know that God is a parent as well. He has had a son, live on earth and be surrounded by opportunities to sin. Yet he didn't. I know it's unrealistic to expect my kids, even myself, not to sin but we have a great role model to aspire to be more like. That's what we daily work towards. I think it's time to be more conscious of our efforts.

2007-04-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

Friendship: a precious thing

One thing I loved about travelling back to Palmerston North was the fact that I got to hang out with friends. It had felt like an age since I had had a coffee and chatted with a close friend. I realised that that is what I am missing in Auckland. Don't get me wrong, I do have friends up here but the difference is that I am starting over.

I have been thinking about my firends a lot lately. My buddies in Palmy have such a long histroy with me. We all married at the same time, have had kids together and shared many ups and downs. With my friend Jen, we have cried and laughed and prayed together for years. Even though we hadn't seen each other for a long time and hadn't always been good at emailing, it felt like we had always been together. I miss that kind of history. My friends in Ecuador are the same. We have shared so much together that, even now, we don't have to say some things yet they have already been heard. Does that make sense?

I am missing that kind of freedom and relationship. It's hard work having to build up relationships again, trying to begin a history, trying to establish that kind of freedom in sharing. It is beginning little by little. I am enjoying the Woman's Bible study group on a Monday morning. Each week I see the same people and we are learning together and praying for each other but it is still at the "hi, how was your week?" stage. It is hard to break through and be intimate. I guess I just have to lead by example but I have to admit to that getting rather tiring at times.

I know deep friendships will come but they take time and a lot of energy. Some days I just can't be bothered trying.

2007-04-23T15:17:00.000-07:00

Travelling again

I looked back on my last post and realised it has been a while since I last wrote. I guess my excuse is that we have been travelling and taking some time out as a family. Much needed might I add as well. We went to Tauranga and stayed with Nigel's parents which was lovely. We took a day out to go to Rotorua, New Zealand's cultural city (see left). It is a beautiful spot set on lake Rotorua. It is famous for it's geothermal activity and historic Maori village sites.

We visited Te Puia which is one of the most well known geothermal areas. We saw boiling mud pools, pooling water pools where the Maori traditionally cooked food and also a couple of geysers. They were amazing. The smell is what really takes your breath away though. The kind of stink of rotten eggs pervades the whole city. We soaked in geothermal hot pool and all came out smelling of sulphur.

The really fun part of the day was riding the gondola up the mountain and hooning down it on a luge. The boys thought it was great! Nige was determined to take the advanced track and ride to his hearts content. I took the slower one with Isy as he was uncertain of the unknown and freaked a little at the speed he could go. Nevertheless he thoroughly enjoyed himself.

After Rotorua and Tauranga we went back to Palmerston North where we caught up with friends, played and did a little work. it was a nice week or so away. The weather has turned cooler so we have brought out our long sleeve shirts. Soon it will be time to put the fire on in the evenings. The electric blanket is being used already! It's nice to jump into a toasty bed and snuggle up in flanette pyjamas. Haven't done that in years!!!

2007-04-03T14:39:00.000-07:00

Like a Yoyo! That's how I would discribe my weight loss journey. One week I've lost, the next I've gained. It wasn't entirely unexpected this week though as I literally ate out every day. By the last day of the week we went to Burger King and I ate a yummy burger and chips. Who cares!!!! By then I knew the whole week was a dead loss so decided to enjoy the freedom.

But there is no guilt about it. I just ate too much this past week. I'm not going to turn it into emotional self bashing or into saying that I can't do this (which I would usually do). I'm just going to start anew today (which I have). I really need to get my exercise programme working so that's going to be my focus for the next few weeks. With Easter and loads of chocolate just around the corner I am going to have to be careful but I'm taking this slowly and not about to throw it all in.

Have a happy Easter everyone. Enjoy the chocolate eggs (I will be) but more importantly celebrate the fact that a Man who loves you very much died and rose again to give you the gift of eternal life with Him. That's cool!

2007-03-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

To Smack or not to smack?

That's the question which is dividing New Zealand at the moment. The government is trying to pass a law which will make it a chargeable offence to smack your child under any circumstances. They say it is to step out child abuse but the country has gone up in arms. They don't want it. Recent polls say that 84% of the population do not agree with the bill yet the government is trying to get it passed under urgency. It would appear that the politicians aren't listening to the country's wishes.

Now, I haven't waded into this debate at all. I have to admit to having smacked my boys. Now that they are older the frequency of smacks is very low, in fact I can't remember the last time I smacked my oldest. But there are parents out there who beat children within an inch of their lives or have even killed them and they should be stopped.

Sue Bradford, who is the politician behind the bill, has said that this new law is to give the Police the right to prosecute for excessive force used by parents. That's all well in good but it seems that they are throwing the baby out with the bath water and taking this whole thing to extremes. The Police have already said that once this thing becomes law they will have to follow through on any complaint of a child being smacked. Having worked as a social worker for many years I have seen the effects of abuse on children but I think there is a line that has to be drawn between abuse and a small smack on the hand.

The debate consumes TV and radio news. People have become very vocal about their right to discipline, or not, using physical force. Knowing this government it will become law in the next couple of weeks and then parents will be looking over their shoulders everytime they discipline their children. I wonder what kind of future we will have with our kids?

2007-03-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

I love that my kids have many international friends. It was such a great experience for them to grow up in Ecuador. They are truely more Ecuadorian then they think. Over the years they hung out quite naturally with Ecuadorians, Americans, Indians, Nigerians, Taiwanese, South Africans, even Australians! They have made many friends with MK's over the years, some of those friendships are long lasting. I think that's one of the great things about MK's (missionary kids). They relate easily with kids and adults from all cultures.

Coming to NZ I wondered who would be my boys friends. They were quick to relate back to the average kiwi kid but I have noticed that since coming to Auckland they are mixing more with international children. Isaac has a great friend from England and Caleb has made friends with a couple of muslim boys. He is our great thinker and has been having late night chats about the differences between Islam and Christianity, why we do what we do and why they do what they do. Deep questions come out of my 11 year olds wee brain. I am proud of him and his thinking as well as his caring, loving heart.

Auckland is an extremely multicultural centre. 20%of our population are Chinese which has been a huge change since we left the country 9 years ago. My mandarin learning should help then! Walking down the street is an international affair with many different languages being spoken. I love it. I have even heard Spanish which just thrills my heart.

Given my boys naturalness in relating to others I wonder from which culture they will marry. Not that I'm hoping that will happen soon but it will definately be an interesting time.

2007-03-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

Daylight saving has just ended. For us that meant turning our clocks back an hour on Saturday evening, well Sunday morning. It gave us an extra hour in bed which I would never complain about but I have to admit to finding staying up at night harder and harder.

Since Sunday I have been in bed at 9:30 PM which my body tells me is really 10:30 PM. Makes for a pretty boring social life don't you think? I start feeling droopy at about 8:00 PM before the boys are even getting ready for bed. By 8:30 PM I just want to tuck myself up in my snug duvet and sleep. The other night the boys were still wide awake and I was already in bed sleeping.

The good thing about the end of daylight saving though is that we are getting up a little earlier than normal. That makes the morning routines run just a little smoother and I'm finding that the nagging mother hasn't really had to show her ugly face again. Even our youngest is ready for school with time to spare which is a miracle! With just under two weeks left of my life of luxury (I begin in the SIM office the 3rd April) I'm hoping that my morning routine will run just as smoothly then. There will be a lot to do before I can walk out the door every morning. Of late I've been taking it all a little slower and easier but that time will soon run out.

On another note, I'm glad to post my weight loss this week having lost 900g. Yippee!!! I was thrilled as I had worked hard. Let's hope I can keep the momentum going this next week. It's getting harder as our youngest is now selling chocolate easter eggs as a fund raiser for school. There are several packets just waiting to be bought. But I will not succum!

2007-03-14T14:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not doing so good. Well not as good as I would have liked. This whole weight loss thing is hard work. As you can see by my ticker I seem to be putting on weight rather than losing it! I'm going the wrong way!!!!

I guess I still have lost a little bit but it is quite disheartening to lose some of your hard earned work little by little. Last week it was 300 grams and this week it was 500g. I did everything I could think of to weigh in lighter....I didn't wear my heavy earrings and I was sure to take my cell phone out of my pocket but all to no avail. I'm not going to give up though. I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!! This week I am walking more and trying to make sure I don't eat more than my points (perhaps last week was a result of the fish and chips and pizza we had!!!!! :-) I'm even saving points as we are away for the night on Friday and then have a BBQ on Sunday, probably with sausages which are deadly. I'm hoping to have a better weigh in next week. Here's hoping.

One good thing is that Nige put on more than me so that was good. Not that I want him to fail but it is nice when I beat him at something (usually he is losing heaps more than I am....it's a male thing I guess).

I know this is a long journey that I have begun but I'm very impatient and extremely hard on myself about what I see as failure. I still have 2 1/2 years to get to my goal wieght so I guess I should just slow down, learn how to change my lifestyle little by little and enjoy the small successes. Hopefully next week is one of them.

2007-03-04T18:49:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we went on the annual church picnic to Motuihe Island in the middle of the Hauraki Gulf. What a spectacular day it was. The sun was out, there were 300 of us on the ferry zooming acros the pristine seas to a gorgeous recreational reserve island. It was just stunning.

We have been going to Eastgate Christian Centre for 3 weeks now and have decided that this will be our church home in Auckland. The first week that we went the boys so enjoyed their time in children's church that they begged us to return the next week. What could we do? When your kids beg you to go to church you can't say no can you? They have struggled so much with tradtional churches and rather boring children's programmes in Ecuador that this was just a delight for them. They have thrown themselves into church life and Caleb has even been asked to be a part of the kids worship team. He was thrilled and so were we!

Anyway we decided to take the plunge and get involved in church life. I have been going to the weekly woman's bible study group which is a nice way to get to know new people. Yesterday was a larger scale "throwing ourselves in" thing. It all went very well with us meeting new people and having time to chat to them about life. It is hard to relate to them though as we don't have much in common, except our love of the Lord but apart from that we are a bit of a novelty and they just seem so busy in their lives. By 3 PM I was feeling overwhelmed by the share number of people on the island and the need to get to know them. I went to the beach and watched the boys in the water for an hour or so. I had a little solitude and time to think about all I had left behind. Life seemed so much more simpler then. As much as Ecuador has its ups and downs it was very familiar and comfortable. Now I am up in the air again.

It's hard to settle down again. I fee like I should be packing my bags any minute now and winging my way home. Last week I went to the fruit and vege shop and saw a huge Ecuador banana sign and burst into tears. The dear old lady beside me didn't know what to do and I had no desire to explain it all to her. She probably wouldn't have understood anyway.

All in all it was good day yesterday and I think an important one. Nige got to meet some new people that hopefully he will be able to connect to. We got home sunburnt and exhausted but it was so lovely to be outside the city for a while and just relax. We haven't had much opportunity to do that as a family for a while.

2007-03-04T18:04:00.000-08:00

Ni hao

I like to keep my brain working and this year have decided to take the challenge to learn Mandarin. I have signed up for community education which is a weekly class run through the local high school. Every Monday evening I pop off to school to learn a little more language and try to remember what I learnt the week before. There are about 17 of us each week all with varying reasons to learn. Some are even ethnic chinese who don't speak mandarin so it's fun to learn with them. I have to admit to it being a real brain and tongue strain at times. It seems that I get stuck with my Spanish tripping me up on vowel sounds etc so I have to work hard to get it right. Sometimes the letters look like they should sound a particular way but really have a different sound altogether. But I'm really enjoying getting out of the house and doing something new, just for me.

This past weekend I attended a morning sushi class. It was really fun! We learnt four different types of sushi and even got to eat it all for lunch. Yummy. I was introduced to sushi in Ecuador, believe it or not. My favourite was an avocado roll which is really not that good for you but delicious. I came home and made it for tea as well. Isaac wasn't too thrilled by it but Nige and Caleb enjoyed it so I think I will make it again sometime. The great thing about it is that it is yummy but not high in points value so doesn't adversely affect my diet....which is going well I think.

So what's your hobby? Anyone learning a new skill or food? Let me know. I think it's fun to do new things.

2007-02-19T12:55:00.000-08:00

My New Ticker

I did it!I signed up for Weight Watchers. It was a big step but I did it.

I have always struggled with my weight. It has been my friend and my enemy but I have decided that I need to do something about it. There have been times when I have been quite happy with myself and other times when I realize what a slob I can be.

Nige and I have talked about health and a healthy weight for a long time. I decided that I wanted to be fit and healthy by my 40th birthday so I've got 2 1/2 years to do something about it.

Last week I went to my first meeting and got lots of info. I have done pretty well during the week and not even been hungry (most of the time). It seems to be a good programme and Nige has decided to do it with me. Tonight is my first weigh in after beginning the eating plan so I hope that I have lost soemthing. I think it would be quite demoralising if I haven't.

Some of you may think I'm mad to be telling you all this and to have my wee ticker up top but I figured that it would help keep me on track and accountable. We'll see how it all goes. 38.1kgs seems a long way off but little by little I might even get there. A brand new me!

The big thing for me will be adding exercise into my routine. I have been such a sloth for so many years. Last week I went for 2 walks first thing in the morning (once kids and hubby were off for the day) but so far this week I haven't been out. Maybe tomorrow.

2007-02-19T12:23:00.000-08:00

What does my car say about me?

I'm enjoying tootling around the city in my wee car. It is nice to not have to move the seat out every time I get in the car and to have the stereo blaring at just the right level. Nige has a work car which is a real blessing so, by default, the one we bought upon our return has become mine. I looked at the back of it the other day and wondered what it said about me. So here's what I came up with:

1. It's a Mazda Capella, a Japanese import. It's not flashy and neither am I. I feel like an import most days as things seem quite strange to me at times.

2. It's white. So am I

3. It's Christian. So am I. We put the fish symbol on it as a reminder of Ecuador and as a statement. Most christians in Ecuador, dare I say all who own cars, have this fish on the back. I don't really know what it's supposed to prove as they are all appalling drivers but nevertheless it's there so we added ours as well. Not many people in NZ have them.

4. "Don't Mess with Texas" is the bumper sticker. This reminds us of our good friends that we left behind in Guayaquil. The Garzas (who gave us the sticker) and the Muse who are also Texans. We have learnt a lot about Texans over the past few years of working together. They are a very generous, loving, encouraging and caring bunch of people. They love to eat (so do I) and have lots of tex-mex food which is just yummy. We miss them all.

5. "HELP! Dad farted and we're trapped!" This is the surround of our license plate. The kids and I bought it and giggled all the way home. What a hoot. It's nice to see people's smiling faces in the rear vision mirror, when they read it. I have a bit of a naughty sense of humour which can get me in trouble sometimes but I love to giggle away with others.

6. The inside is a bit higgeldy piggeldy. There are map books, drink bottles and empty shopping bags everywhere. I even think there are several odd socks. A bit like my life. All a bit untidy at the moment but a good clean up will change the look of it completely. The thing is....do I have the energy to begin the clean up?

So there's a little insight into who I am through my wee car. What does your car say about you?

2007-02-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

Meet Santiago. He is so cute I had to introduce him to you all.

As many of you who have been reading me for a while will know, we had to leave our beloved cat Hine behind in Ecuador. It was a heart wrenching moment when she was taken from the house. The boys literally threw themselves on the ground in despair. They didn't know how to handle the pain in their hearts at their loss.

We had said to them that when we get into our own home we would get a cat so it was time to keep our promise. The boys and I tootled off to the SPCA here in Auckland and looked at heaps of cats and kittens. We even found a boy cat that looked exactly like Hine. We had already discussed that if we were to get a cat like her then it would have to be called Dos (Two) as we really couldn't call it Hine (much to our youngests disgust). In the end we happened upon 10 week old Santiago who was up at the window checking us out. We all agreed that he was to be our cat so we paid all we needed to and brought him home. That was 2 weeks ago and he has turned out to be a real snuggly, smoochy little fellow. He has also decided he likes to climb my pot plants so I think I'll be buying a squirty bottle to train him out of that habit. We just love him. Now our home feels like a home with our newest member of the family.

Yesterday the boys started their new schools. They were both very nervous and a little scared but they did such a good job of settling quickly and I am really proud of them. I have to admit to a few tears as this was so unlike when we hit Palmerston North. There they had friends, knew the school and teachers. Here they knew nothing and no one. It's hard to watch your little ones (well not so little now) go off into the big, wide, uncertain world. I know that they will do well and we have been preparing them for months for this to happen.

Today they went off unfazed by anything (even their ugly sandals!). We even managed to find a shortcut for them to take to school. I'm letting them walk home by themsleves this afternoon so that will be nice for them. They are keen to show how grown up they are now and I guess I have to let them do that. They are truely great kids and I'm proud of them.

2007-01-31T11:30:00.000-08:00

Last night we went out to a couple's place for dinner. She is Bolivian and he is an MK from Bolivia. They have a little boy called Hugo. It was the first time we have been invited into someone's home since we arrived in Auckland and it was nice to leave the evening calling them friends.

Anyway. given that their son's name is Hugo it reminded us of the old Kentucky Fried Chicken ad that played in NZ in the 70's (yes I'm THAT old!) Nige sang it to them and then found it on You Tube. Thought you might like to have a look. It's really cute.

2007-01-27T08:54:00.000-08:00

I have done it!!!! I have survived two big grocery shops in my new house and am so proud of myself. The second one went a lot better than the first but nevertheless we have food in the house and I am attempting to make everything here and not buy take out (our staple food for nearly a week).

The first shop was the biggest. I had to stock up my pantry with all the basics as well as make sure we had enough to get us through the week. I had been planning this shop for months, mentally going over in my mind what I had to buy and where I had to go. I arranged for Nige to be home one afternoon so I could go without the kids which was a fab idea. The whole thing took me three hours!!!!! I stopped off at the fruit and vege store and stocked up there. I bought so much but it was lovely to have summer fruits like peaches, nectarines and apricots in my house to munch on. Then I hit the big supermarket. It is HUGE!!!! As I walked around I was talking to myself and encouraging myself at evey step. Everytime I finished an aisle I would pat myself on the back and prepare myself for the next one. A couple of times I found myself just standing and staring at all the items on the shelves. It felt like I couldn't move. I was frozen on the spot and my mind was totally muddled. Would I buy the green label or the blue one? Which is bigger? Which is better value fr money? Sometimes I would just have to pick up something and buy it without all the fiddling around with prices. I don't know if I got good value for money or not sometimes but, for my own mental sanity, I needed to keep going. Only once did I feel the tears start but I pulled myself together and moved along.

Now, for those of you who have never experienced changing supermarkets from a foreign one to your home one this may all seem quite strange but I know I'm not alone. I have spoken to many missios who have struggled to know which bread to choose. When there are very limited choices overseas, coming home to a whole aisle of breads is quite overwhelming.

This last time I went it took just over an hour and I felt a whole lot better. I don't think I talked to myself once, except perhaps when I had to go into the chiller section to buy the cheese, yoghurts and butter. Perhaps next time I will find it even easier.

2007-01-14T19:35:00.000-08:00

We're here!!! Can't believe it but we are here in Aucland, the city of sails and have installed ourselves in our new home.

The packers arrived at 8:30 and the truck came just 30 minutes later. Everything was loaded up and we had gone by 10:30 AM which was just great. We were all excited and played load music all the way to Taupo where we stopped for lunch. On the way we stopped at Mangaweka, a very small town but with a very cool tearooms....it's a plane!

We had lunch with Nigel's youngest sister and husband and the boys got to ride on the back of Darryl's Motorcross bike. They thought it was super fun even if their Dad was freaking out at the speed (he really wasn't going that fast). Then we drove the remaining 3 hours to Auckland and it was a grumpy time. Everyone had had enough of being in the car and it was sticky hot so it made for a grumpy trip. By the time we arrived at the SIM guest house we were tired and hungry. A good feed of Fish 'n Chips settled the grumps.

We went through the hosue on Sunday afternoon and all was given the go ahead for us to move in the following morning. We didn't get the keys until 2PM Monday but that gave us time to clean the outside of the house and do some gardens. We whizzed through and cleaned the rest of the house and then the following day prepared for the packers to arrive. Sadly it rained but that didn't dampen our enthusiasm. We slept our first night in our house on Tuesday night and it was nice to wake up and not have to go anywhere.

I was feeling all excited about the unpacking. I was doing really well and getting through the 70 odd boxes we had. Nige had started work on the Wednesday so I was really motivated to surprise him with a big hole in the unpacking. When he came home he brought with him our 11 suitcases that we had been storing in Auckland since our return to NZ in September. They filled the big hole that I had made and made it look like I had done nothing. I was so discouraged! It took me much of the next day to even motivate myself to do anything.

I did set the goal of having everything unpacked by Sunday evening which we have managed to do. It is nice to have a home for even little things and I am enjoying popping out to the shops to buy little things to make our home more manageable....a basket here, some cooking utensils there.

All in all the move has gone well and I am thankful to God for allowing us this time to settle before I and the boys get thrown into work and school. The beach and swimming pools are just a few metres down the road (well the beach is more like a few kilometres) but it is all so close and we are having fun popping down to the water to cool off. The weather has finally picked up and I have even been able to get my washing dry which has been so hard this past week.

The internet is on, people have my new phone number and are calling, there is food in the cupboards (another post I think) and we are living happily in Auckland. Praise God.

2007-01-04T16:37:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the big day. The packers arrive at 8:30 am (guess I'll be up early) and then the truck arrives to load up all our stuff. We went through it the other day and have around 70 boxes to go which looks like a lot. It will be interesting to see what we have kept for the past 8 years. We're hoping it will all be done quickly as it is a long drive to Auckland and we want to make it in one day. It's about 8 hours including a couple of stops. Pray that we will be away well before lunch.

Last night I had a dream that I was back in Ecuador. It was a lovely time catching up with all my friends who were there. I felt safe, happy and comfortable. What a pleasureable dream that was. Unfortunately this is not my dream world and I'm off to begin a new life. But God is good. He is looking after our finances and people have been generous with their money and support of us. Makes me remember again that God really does want us here in NZ and He has all things in His hand. I'm so glad I serve a God like that. Aren't you?

2006-12-30T17:12:00.000-08:00

It's been a busy week with Christmas and travelling to and from Tauranga. We had a lovely Chrissy with Nigel's family and then a second one with my family on the 27th. Of course we got lots of great pressies and ate too much food so this next week it's all salads and cold ham for us (not that we're complaining mind). Last night I was snuggling into my darling when I felt a creepy crawly on my elbow. I brushed it away and as I did the little blighter bit me! We quickly turned on the light and saw a big black spider crawling around my pillows. Yucky yucky. It wasn't like this one in the pici (I thought this one looked good for effects :-) but it sent everyone into a mild panic as we iced it and prayed that there would be no long lasting problems. This morning, when I woke up, all was fine but it is open season on all spiders from now on.

Tomorrow is New Year's eve. Back home it is a BIG event with año viejos (a large paper mache effergy) and loads of fireworks. Here in NZ it is a much quieter affair. We will probably play some games and eat (what more eating?) with friends and my parents. It will be very quiet indeed and I may not even make it to midnight.

Next Saturday the packers arrive to take us to Auckland. We are kind of looking forward to it and kind of not. I know that might sound silly but it's yet another move and we've had enough of that. The boys announced that they were 50% wanting to stay in Palmerston North, 49% wanting to return to Ecuador and 1% wanting to move to Auckland. I guess that's how we all feel right now but it's part of God's next step for us so we will be obedient and move. He's bound to have some good things in store for us there. Can't wait to find out what they are.

Happy 2007 to you all.

2006-12-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!

I pray that you have a blessed Christmas with family and friends, wherever you are this weekend. May the Lord grant you peace and happiness for today and all of 2007. Thanks for hanging out with me on my journey "home".

We are in Tauranga with Nigel's family for Christmas day then whizzing back to Palmerston North the next day for another Christmas with my family. It's so nice to be with family. I've missed it.

With love, many blessings and many happy Christmas wishes to you and yours

Richelle

2006-12-21T08:27:00.000-08:00

Homesick.

"....the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry, is how long must I wait to be with you. I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where the heart is then I'm out of place. Lord won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now. Help me Lord because I don't understand your ways. The reason why, I wonder if I'll ever know. But even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same because I'm still here so far away from home. In Christ there are no goodbyes. In Christ there is no end. So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have, to see you again. I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where the heart is then I'm out of place. Lord won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now." (Mercy Me 2004)

What more can I say. It's been a hard week.

2006-12-19T13:08:00.000-08:00

This is the Regent Theatre in Palmerston North's main street. It is a beautiful old art deco building that has recently been renovated and is now used for major productions and university graduations in the region. Last night my boys school had their end of year production here. It was fabulous! It was based around a magical, musical bus tour through our city, surrounding regions and school. The show was 1 1/2 hours long but was extremely well done.

I have to admit to a wee cry as I watched my boys on stage, performing with 350 other children. The looked like real kiwi kids and not Ecuadorians. I was so proud of them for how well they have taken the adjustment back to NZ. We threw them into school just one week after arriving in the country and they have taken to it like ducks to water. Tomorrow is their last day at Winchester School so it is another round of farewells for them. It's not going to be easy to change schools next year. In some ways this has been a soft landing for them as they remembered many kids from 3 years ago as well as staff. Next year, however, they will be in totally foreign environments with school uniforms, different expectations and no friends. They are starting from scratch (as we all will be) and I suspect it won't be easy for them. At least we have 6 weeks before we have to worry about all that so we are going to enjoy being in our own home (we move the 6th January) and settling into our own space.

2006-12-17T19:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a grumpy, miserable, homesick day. I felt really sad and struggled most of the day. It wasn't until Nige and I hid away and chatted that I felt a little better (actually the fairy mushrooms we opened (candy) helped enormously as well :-)

I woke up feeling blah although I was looking forward to the Christmas pageant by the children's church at the morning service. I had missed out on traditional Christmas Carol services for the past 8 years (some Ecuadorian Christians think that Christmas and all the carols etc are a waste of time) so was looking forward to a good old sing along. My mood wasn't helped by the opening hymn being "Chesnuts roasting on an open fire" and then the offertory hymn was "Ruldoph the red nosed reindeer"! Talk about culture shock!! The kids did well and then the service was about acknowledging those who had served in the kids ministry but it was all presents and niceities. So different to what I have become accostomed to.

The weather had turned cold again. We had had such beautiful days this past week but yesterday was windy and wet and most of the time my feet were freezing. I'm sick of being cold. I want warm, sunny weather that makes you sweat! I pump the heat up in my car to keep myself warm. It's pathetic!

I questioned how my life is making a difference to those who have less than me, who need to know God. In Ecuador I could be different positively and encourage others in their lives but here I'm just bumming around, eating candy and missing home.

I know it is a passing faze and today I feel a bit better. I think I have had enough of doing not much and am ready to set up home, bake in my kitchen, help my family settle into some good routines and begin work in the office (although that won't be until April). It's not an easy place to be in but I still know that God has asked this of us so am willing to weather these storms for Him.

2006-12-14T23:59:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas time. I just love it.We have entered the Christmas season and last week we decorated our fresh pine tree with lights, tinsel and all of my parents decorations. The boys and I found some silly masks and hats and we had some fun. Its nice to see the lights at night (once the sun finally sets around 8:30PM) and the boys faces light up at the wonder of Christmas. They haven't really put their orders in for pressies knowing that we have just bought a house but I'm sure, if I asked them, they would have a list a mile long. We are spending Christmas Day with Nigel's family and then travelling back to Palmerston North the next day for a Scoones family Christmas on the 27th. It is so nice to be able to spend this time of year with family. That's one thing I found really hard back home in Ecuador....not having family around on special occasions. I have wrapped all my pressies and finished all my shopping. The boys have just 3 1/2 days left of school for the year and next week are performing a school thing at a large, fancy theatre here in town. I'm looking forward to that.

Our anniversary yesterday was just lovely. We had a whole day to enjoy each other's company and have fun relaxing together. Nige surprised me with 15 beautiful roses. It has been his tradition to buy me a rose for every year of marriage but I figured that I wouldn't get them this year as they are so expensive here. I was always spoilt with more in Ecuador.....20 roses in a big arrangement for just $5! It was a lovely surprise. We drove around the surrounding areas, looked in small crafty shops, relaxed in a spa pool filled with bubbles, ate a picnic lunch in the city's rose gardens (one of the top 5 rose gardens in the world) and then had a lovely dinner out. It was a special day together, just the two of us. I am thankful to God for a loving husband and a great relationship. I'll have to pray for loving wives for my boys when they get older. There's nothing better!

2006-12-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is our 15th Wedding Anniversary. Yay!!!!
It seems very strange to think that it was 15 years ago that I dressed in white and was sung up the church aisle by my prince charming. What a fun day it was. So many happy memories. Then there have been 15 years of highs and lows but I wouldn't have made it through them without my man by my side. We have had a lot of adventures and I am looking forward to many more.

I know that 15 years is something to celebrate. There are many couples in the world who haven't been as fortunate as me. There are many broken families out there.

Tomorrow we are off for a picnic lunch with all our favourite foods then to the motel where we stayed our weddng night. This time we will have a spa pool in our room so there will be lots of soaking and bubbles around. Then we are going out to our favourite restaurant for dinner. That's the joys of having grandparents around. We can get away for the day and night. Yippee!!!

I heard this song the other day and it reminded me of my hubby and I. Perhaps you will think of your loved one as you read it.

Me Without You. (Rebecca Saint James)

Like a band without a drummer
That's me without You
Like a year without a summer
That's me without You
Like a king without a country
Like a room without a view
Like an empty gun
Like a fatherless son
That's me without You

Like a ship without a rudder
That's me without You
Like a child without it's mother
That's me without You
Like a story with no ending
Like a foot without a shoe
Like a wasted feast
Like faithless priest
That's me without You

Me without You
A pitiful sight
Me without You
It ain't never gonna feel right

Like a war without an enemy
That's me without You
A disease without a remedy
That's me without You
Like a crime without a victim
Like a sleuth without a clue
Like an empty gun
Like a fatherless son
That's me without You

Me without You
A pitiful sight
Me without You
It ain't never gonna feel right

2006-12-06T13:38:00.000-08:00

Strawberries! I just love'em. It's the beginning of the strawberry season here in NZ and I have to admit to having had a hard time waiting for them to arrive and get cheaper in price. Back home in Ecuador I could buy them every week. They never seemed to get any more expensive (Christmas is a really expensive time to buy strawberries and I mean REALLY).

I love them covered in icing sugar with a big blob of cream. Deathly for any diet but they are a fruit so have to be good for you :-)

Today I'm whizzing up the road to buy a couple of kilos (1 kilo is $3NZD) and then I'm turning them into jam. Isaac loves strawberry jam and there really is nothing better then fresh, sticky, sweet jam. Hopefully it turns out okay. I haven't made jam in years so Mum gave me a quick lesson before she disappeared off to work. Maybe this is the beginning of me, the perfect housewife and mother....aren't they supposed to do baking and makes jams and jellies?

2006-12-01T14:59:00.000-08:00

This has been a very busy week. Nige arrived home from his tripping around, on Tuesday and since then we have been trying to sort out insurances, budgets for next year and getting quotes for removal companies to move our stuff to Auckland. On top of this we also had an evening for our supporters to honour and thank them for all that they have given to us and our ministry in the past years. I spent most of 2 days cooking desserts and nibbles. We treated them to empanadas and tres leches which all went down a treat. We played silly games, had a piñata and gave them a small gift like the pici beside this. We bought heaps of these balsa wood birds from Puyo last November when we went to the Amazon jungle for a holiday. They were great gifts as they were cute and extremely light to carry. It was a fun night. We are extremely grateful to all our supporters, both financial and prayer, who have supported us through 8 years of ministry. Without them our mission wouldn't survive. It is indeed living by faith.

Last night the boys and I went to a concert at our church. The christian band "The Lads" was there and they played for 2 hours. It was a fun night and I just loved watching the boys jumping up and down to the music. They so enjoyed themselves. Caleb came home hoarse and very tired. They were worn out. It's great to have such amazing music and role models for my kids. They are playing again at church on Sunday so that will be great as well. We got their autographs on CD's and my kids will never forget their first, real, rock concert.

2006-11-26T12:51:00.000-08:00

Kiwi Kids and Cricket

On Saturday the weather was fine enough for my boys school teams to play cricket. It's a typical NZ sport that's played over summer. I have had many conversations with people of other nationalities who have no idea as to what cricket is or even how to make sense of the non sensical rules. That just makes me laugh. I have no idea about Amercian Football!

Anyway, kiwi kids play a form of cricket through their schools and my two were eager to join ijn on the fun. For the last two weeks it has been cancelled due to the weather but this week, despite a howling, cold wind, play went on. Isaac's opposing team failed to show so it was a win by default fo them. Caleb's team played and lost by just 11 runs. It was fun to watch them enjoy themselves.

We decided that since Isy's team was going to miss out on a game that the adults/parents would play with the kids and have fun. They threw me into the batting side and I have to admit I did quite well. I at least hit every ball that came my way...not like another mother who missed it everytime. I ran between the wickets and, even though my youngest child says I run like an old woman, I quite enjoyed it. Now that's quite and achievement for someone who really hates sports! In the evening the boys played tennis with some friends and I have even considered buying the family tennis rackets when we get to Auckland as there are tennis courts just around the corner from our house. Might be a good way to get some much needed exercise. I would prefer dancing lessons with my hubby but after years of trying to get him into them I might just have to flag that wee dream.

One of the things that I was thrilled about was the way that kiwi kids encourage each other in sports. There was lots of encouraging remarks to boost the morale of someone or just to praise them for a good job. These are 9 year olds I'm talking about. Even the parents were really ecouraging of all the kids, not just their own. It's something I haven't seen a lot of over the past years. Ecuadorians are so competitive that if someone deos a poor job they get hammered by the others. Even the kids are encouraged to discourage or demean someone else's efforts. I was extremely proud of the kids I saw play on Saturday. I hope they continue to behave in such a way as they grow up. What am amazing world we would have if everyone was so encourging.

2006-11-22T14:25:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving.

To all my American blog buddies....have a very happy thanksgiving. It's not something we celebrate here in NZ but in some ways I wish we did. It's nice to have a day to remember how thankful we are for family and friends. We have celebrated a couple with other missios in Ecuador and they were fun days. One year there was a mad panic as the turkey went bad and we had to get ham. I didn't mind though. Guess that's what the Guayaquil heat will do to a good turkey (also unreliable freezers in the supermarket!)

Anyway, have a fabulous day of being thankful and eating too much :-)

2006-11-19T00:32:00.000-08:00

The sermon in church today was a thought provoking one for me. In fact it was one of the most meaningful services I've been to in a long time. Our home church has been working through what it calls it's "Roots" series which is looking at the christian worldview throughout the Bible. I think it is based on a recent book but they have incorporated, not only good teaching, but also cell phone poetry, art, flowers, creative writing and worship to make it even more meaningful. Today was the final in the series and was based on the book of Revelation.

What I liked about it was that the guy who spoke acknowledged all the nutty theology that some people expound and then got to the real root of the book....that Jesus is coming. But one thing, in particular, that he said resonated in my brain most of the day. "As Christians we look forward with expectation to that great and terrible day when Christ comes again". Terrible? I guess I had never really thought about it but it made me think that even though my heart cries Amen when I hear of His return there is also a part of me that doesn't want Him to find me lacking in any way, or to find others around me lacking in their lives. But I know that will happen. I know that I will not be perfect (nor will others be) but that it is by His GRACE that I will enter eternity to worship Him with the multitudes. I can't wait! I can't wait to see Him descend from heaven in all His glory, complete with trumpet sounds and angelic choirs. I've often wanted to draw/paint how I picture this great day but have always felt inadequate. It's a heart thing and I think I'd be too hard on myself if I didn't get it just right so I've never tried. Maybe, one day, when we get settled and I have a little time I might get into painting and see where my brush takes me.

One of my favourite worship songs in Spanish describes Christ sitting on the throne. It says something like this:

Seated on the throne, surrounded by light,
With eyes like fire and a face like the sun
when he opens his mouth His voice is like thunder
A great rainbow crowns Him
He is the lamb who couldn't be beaten
He is the beginning and then end
They throw their crowns before Him.

Now this does sound a lot more poetic in Spanish itself but this is the one song that inspires me to paint. Can't you just picture it? I think it would be beautiful. Yet I stop myself and always come back to the "great and terrible day". I don't want anyone to miss out. I guess it's up to me to make sure that no one does. You too huh?

2006-11-12T13:05:00.000-08:00

This morning I'm heading back to Palmerston North and my littlest boys. I can't wait! It has been a long 2 1/2 weeks without them. We have talked on the phone most days but they have always been distracted by TV or a game they are playing. Now I will have their undivided attention and hopefully lots of hugs. I'm tossing up as to whether to collect them after school and have them hug me with all their friends around or whether to wait with open arms when they walk in the front door. Oh decisions, decisions, decisions.

My big boy left this morning to begin his NZ tour with the current Director. He pops back to us all on Thursday for a couple of days and then he is off again. It will be nice to be a complete family again, even if it is only for a litle while. It's not until December that he will be with us for a long period of time and that feels a long way off.

It's been a good couple of weeks. We have managed to take everyone in the office out for coffee (hot chocolate for me) and have sussed out what people enjoy and even dislike about their jobs. It has given us a better idea of who people are and where they will fit once Nige takes over the reins. We have caught up with some long time friends and best of all have found ourselves a house and schools for the boys. We have achieved everything we set out to do so that's great.

But for now I'm just looking forward to a big, squeezy cuddle from my boys.

2006-11-07T14:38:00.000-08:00

I love to worship! I love the rhythm of the music, the words of the songs and the time just praising God. It's fabulous. To date I have really struggled in the NZ church. I cry every time we start to sing because we are singing in English and not in my heart language of Spanish. Spanish has so much more depth to the meanings of the words and I find it a much easier and meaningful way to worship.

This past Sunday we went to the Latin American church "Cristo Viene" which is here in Auckland. It was like coming home! Nige was hassling me that I would cry but I didn't. I had a big smile on my face as we sang. I loved the kisses of welcome, the chats, the rhythm of the music and especially the words of the song. It was just wonderful.

We talked about it afterwards and realised that we both felt the same. It would be such an easy church to slip into and feel at home in. We could attend a small group meeting weekly and the kids would do fun things in the children's programme (this week they performed a drama). But we also realised that we can't do that. We really need to assimilate back into NZ life and be a part of a NZ church. We need to be kiwis and not the latinos we think we are :-) I think we will try and make the effort to visit this church regularly though.

Some of you have asked about our house. Well, let me tell you that it has 3 bedrooms, an open plan kitchen and dining area and separate lounge, inside laundry (most are in the garage now), separate bathroom and toilet, a garage and a small section with not much on it. That's great as we've never been big gardeners but it gives us a chance to plant what we want....Lavender and lilies for Richelle and native trees for Nige. The three schools that the boys will need in the next 5 years (primary, intermediate and high school) are all within a 10 minute walk of the house and the SIM office is a 10 minute drive so it's just perfect. We are in the process of getting all the paperwork finalised by Friday when the sale will become unconditional. It's all very exciting!!!

2006-11-04T13:41:00.000-08:00

Our House....in the middle of the street

We did it!!! We have bought a house!!!

It all has happened so fast but we have such a peace about it and are truely excited. Yesterday I awoke with such a burden for this house. It seemed to be playing over and over in my mind and I couldn't shake it. We decided to have another look through it and there and then decided that this was the one for us. It became a little stressful as it was a multiple offer situation but we put our best foot forward and came up trumps. God was certainly working on our behalf. Nige was so excited that he couldn't get to sleep until 4:30 AM and he woke me up at 2:30 AM to tell me so :-) Then we both chatted for hours about our new home.

So this is it. It's just what we wanted and needed even down to silly little details such as window latches and skirting boards. God has found us a great place that has us written all over it. The best thing is that we are within an easy walk to all the schools the boys will need in the next 10 years.

Than you so much for praying. I know that God has been using you and has answered in an amazing way. I still have a week left here so we will use that time to get some final conditions met on the house and to enrol the oys into their new scools. They are really excited which is fabulous.

God is good.
He is good indeed!

2006-10-31T14:15:00.000-08:00

Tagging!

My friend Lydia sent me an email this morning as a "get to know you" kind of thing. I thought I'd use it as a tag so here are my answers. If you want to copy and post yours in the comments that would be great (or if you're a blogger then add a link). I'd love to find out more about you too.

1. What is your occupation? Missionary
2. What color are you socks right now? I'm wearing slip on shoes and no socks to make it easier for open homing.
3. What are you listening to right now? the whirr of the office photo copier
4. What was the last thing that you ate? stir fried chicken and noodles. Oh I forgot the chocolate for dessert! (that's the one good thing about being back in NZ :-)
5. Can you drive a stick shift? absolutely
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? purple, lime green or orange. Maybe all three in a swirl. Now that would be cool.
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Steve, the real estate agent
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? She's the best.
9. How old are you today? 37.
10. Favorite drinks? Earl Grey tea, apple juice
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? I'm not really a sporty person. If I was doing a crafty thing at the same time then it would be any sport.
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes. i once had it really short and bright purple!
13. Pets? Not as yet. we're waiting for our own house and then we'll get a cat. we miss Hine.
14. Favorite food? Thai and Mexican
15. What was the last movie you watched? Out of the Blue (see below)
16. Favorite holiday? Christmas
17. What do you do to vent anger? sulk and storm off
18. What were your favorite toys as a kid? my pink dog. I used to pretend he was real and I lived in my own apartment.
19. What are is your favorite, fall or spring? autumn!
20. Hugs or kisses? both
21. Cherry or blueberry? Blueberry
22. Do you want your friends to send this back? yes
23. Who is the most likely to respond? hopefully someone will
24. Who is least likely to respond? no idea
25. Living arrangements? staying with my parents while we house hunt
26. When was the last time you cried? Sunday, at church. I was sad that the worship wasn't in Spanish
27. What is on the floor of your closet? summer sandals ( hang over from the heat of Ecuador) and a new bottle of shampoo
28. What did you do last night? watched LOST then had an early night.

So that's me. Now it's your turn.

2006-10-29T15:36:00.000-08:00

So, we've looked at something like 15 open homes this past weekend. What an experience that was! It's weird to walk into someone's home and poke in all their cupboards and rooms. You certainly get a different sense of who people are and what their houses are like.

After a fulll day of house hunting on Saturday we were feeling tired and quite discouraged. Sunday was a bit better and we managed to find our dream house....one we could walk straight into and make a home. But guess what....it's about $150,000 out of our price range!!! That was depressing :-( We did find another possibility. It was an okay location and a good price and didn't need much doing to it but now that I'm investigating the local schools around I don't know how suitable it will be.

One thing I found interesting was the "feeling" I got from certain houses. One was a particularly grungy place but there was an overhwleming feeling that violence had occurred there. It was sad. Then we visited 2 houses owned by hindu believers. They had their prayer closets full of gods and their red flag outside symbolising their place of blood sacrifice. One felt particulalry oppressive and left us both with thumping hearts and pounding headaches. I know that God is bigger than all of that. "Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world".

So it was an interesting experience. This week we are off to make contact with a couple of land agents to see what they can do for us. We continue to pray.

2006-10-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

Nige and I are about to embark on, perhaps, our most expensive venture. Tomorrow we fly to Auckland to spend 2 1/2 weeks, looking around at houses and schools for 2007. Our dream is to buy our very first home but we have never done anything like this before so feel quite unprepared. I think we will need a help guide :-) We are armed with a deposit and a preapproved mortgage so now it's shopping time.

Please pray for us in these next couple of weeks. We need to find the right house, in the right area and for the right price. It all seems very difficult as the area we are looking in is quite an expensive one. But we know that God has gotten us into this adventure and He will provide for us. I'll keep you up to date with how we go.

2006-10-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

FRIENDS

Now I do love F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I've managed to watch pretty much every single episode they ever made and have laughed my way through the whole lot of them. But they're not the friends I'm talking about. On Sunday I remembered the friends I have in Ecuador.

At church this weekend there was a reunion for those who were in the youth group in the 1970's. Now that wasn't me might I add....I was only 2 years old when some of the started!!!! During the offering time they played a powerpoint show of their friends who had since passed away. Some had died really young. As in any montage like that NZers tend to play, as background music, "Friends" by Micheal W. Smith. That song always gets to me and this time was no different.

I have to admit that during the song I was looking at the reunion group to see who was crying. Just a curious little thing I like to do to suss people out. But then the words of the song hit me and I was the one bawling my eyes out. It wasn't because I was feeling sad for those who had died but it was more for those I had left behind in Ecuador. It's funny hw very little things set me off crying. I tried to cover up the rolling tears but in the end gave up. I just let them flow.

So here are the words to that song. Just for Linda, Cathy, Glenda, Lydia, Christine, David, Guy, Juan David, Melissa, Diana, Daniela, Ramiro, Alto refugio and many others. I miss you!

Friends by Micheal W Smith

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can't believe the hopes He's granted
Mean the chapter in your life is through

BRIDGE:
But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seen you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

CHORUS:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

And with the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show

Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends

2006-10-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

"Out of the Blue".

On Tuesday Nige and I snuck off to the movies. It is the cheapest day to go to them so we have been the last couple. Last week we saw "World Trade Center" which was a great movie and this week we saw "Out of the Blue".

Now I suspect that most of you have never heard of this movie. That's because it is a NZ movie based on a shooting tragedy in 1990. I remember it happenening.

Aramoana is on the peninsula near Dunedin (bottom of the South Island and my birth place). It is a very small, fishing community and as a family we used to drive there for picnics at the beach or on Sunday aftrnoons. In November 1990 this sleepy hollow hit NZ headline news because a man, named David Grey, took a gun and killed 13 people. Now this is unuual as you can only have a gun if you are a registered gun holder and requirememnts for that are pretty strict. Nothing like that had ever happened in NZ before (certainly not to that scale).

The movie was very well done and didn't focus on the blood and gore as much as the triumph of ordinary NZers. A 74 year old woman (who still lives) was a hero, dragging herself across gravel roads and bush to call for help. There were others who did remarkable things. It told the story of Grey himself, who was probably a paranoid Schizophrenic. It showed his struggles and delusions. A recluse in the community who had isolated himself totally from everyone else.

I have seen many news interviews with the makers of the film but was touched by one done with Stacey, the youngest survivor of this tragedy. She was just 3 and was shot in the stomach while her mother, father and 2 brothers were lying dead beside her. She has no living memory of the incident and the actors shared how they realised that, by doing this movie, they were actually creating some memories of her family and that terrible day, for her. It was moving to think about that as I watched.

So as much as NZ is the clean, green, safe country in the world bad things still do happen here and their memory lasts forever.

2006-10-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

Toenails!

I looked down on mine this morning in horror. They are long and unpainted. Gross, gross gross! They seem to have be hidden under socks and shoes for so long that I have neglected them. I'm so used to seeing them on a daily basis under little, strappy sandlads that I had forgotten them entirely.

Time to pamper them I think. Maybe later today as this morning we are sharing with a bunch of little old people and then tonight I am speaking at a woman's group. I'm taking Tres Leches (three milks dessert) which is yum so hope they enjoy it.

2006-10-15T01:40:00.000-07:00

Is it you?

Are you the lucky 1000 page viewer? Did the counter click over to that magical number when you entered? Drop me a note in the comments and I might just have a litle something for you!

2006-10-15T01:24:00.000-07:00

Spring!

What do you think of when I say Spring? Is it suuny, yellow daffodils like this?

Or cute, fluffy lambs like this?

Or could it even be the gentle, colourful blossom on trees?

Perhaps it's more like this? Well that would be the truth if you were in NZ right now. Big, black rain clouds hover over the country. We've even had snow to low levels in the South Island. It's been freezing yet we have all these amzing, "warm" things to remind us it is actually spring. We should be in the middle of the spring season yet for much of the time it feels like the middle of winter. Now I don't think that is just because I've come from the tropics and haven't seen rain since April....it truely is miserable here. I'm looking forward to some summer sun, some clear blue skies and no wind! Bring it on!!!

The one, good thing about the weather is that it is nice to be able to snuggle up in fluffy sheets and a cosy duvet at night, with the electric blanket on. I haven't had one of those for years!!!! I think I'm going to have to invest in one for next winter 'cos if the weather is worse than this then, I'm going to need it.

2006-10-10T01:41:00.000-07:00

The fourth and final term of the year has begun at school. And with it there have been a couple of changes....namely in the "walking to school" department.

This has been somethng that the boys have been super keen about but their parents (namely us) have not been so happy about it all. You see, for the last 8 years they have never walked any further ahead of us then our holding hands allowed. We have ALWAYS been there with them. They have never popped down the street by themselves for anything. Only recently have we allowed them to purchase their own food at the food court in the mall. But then that was only once we knew where they were going and could see them at all times.

Today we allowed them to walk, by themselves, to school. We live just 1/2 kilometre from the entrance and they only have to cross one road to get there. That road is patrolled by a school patrol that tells you when to cross and when to wait. They were so excited! I'm sure they felt quite grown up. Nige and I were feeling more apprehensive then they were....so much so, that we jumped in the car, drove to the school entrance and waited for them to walk in the front gate. All without them seeing us. Silly huh? But it made us feel better and we were quite happy for them to walk home after school.

So that was today's big lesson in living in NZ. We passed with flying colours I think and it was really nice to see them when they walked in the front door after 3 PM. I had even made muffins. Yum Yum!!! Now the big problem is that Nige and I have no reason to go walking in the mornings. That's not good, so we are going to have to bite the bullet and walk anyway. We'll see how long that lasts....if it ever begins :-)

2006-10-06T01:17:00.000-07:00

Back in Palmerston North now after our trip home yesterday. The weather was supposed to turn all nasty and wet but we managed to get home again before too much hit. It was a beautiful day to leave Tauranaga and drive south.

We arrived in Taupo at lunchtime. This is a lake in the centre of the North Island and is quite a tourist spot. We popped in and visited Nigel's youngest sister for a few minutes and then had some lunch before continuing our trip down the island. Isn't it just gorgeous?

The next town of interest was Taihape (pronounced Tie happy). This is also known, in NZ, as the Gumboot capital (hence the picture of the big gumboot that stands in town). Every year they have gumboot throwing competitions. Being a farming community the gumboot can be seen everywhere!

We played "Can you name the next town" game with the boys, trying to educate them a little about NZ geography. They did pretty well and earnt a little money on the way but I think there was a lot of kiwi ingenuity being used with the prevalence of road signs :-) They're not silly are they?

By the time we got to Bulls we were just half an hour from home but tired and hungry so it was a quick trip to McD's for an ice cream to give us the last bit of energy to get to the house. Yay for McD's!!!!! Actually I snacked on a cheeseburger but the filet o fish looked pretty enticing as well.

So we have made it. Thankfully the weather held up although we did run into some snow swirls on the desert road (the road through the central plateau). Last night it snowed quite heavily for this time of year and that road was closed with some cars stuck so God was good to us. But Palmy is cold and I have hugged the fire most of the day and worn gloves to stop my fingers falling off.

I hope you're a little warmer than I am!

2006-10-04T01:17:00.000-07:00

New Tickers.

I thought the old ticker was looking a little dull so tonight I have pottered around and created a couple of new ones. Can you believe it has been that long since we were in our heartland? I find it quite freaky. At times life in NZ can seem so normal and then at other times it feels a mile away from what I know or even understand.

The second one is a countdown to our 15th wedding anniversary. That seems like a mammoth milestone in itself these days. There are times when I feel like I've always been married. I can barely remember a time when Nige was not in my life. I like it that way :-)

Tomorrow we are driving back to Palmerston North. It is supposed to rain the whole way down which will be a bummer but the drive will only take 5-6 hours, depending on how many stops we need to make. I took some great shots at the beach yesterday and then again tonight of the sunset. It sure is beautiful here.

Blessings to you all.

2006-10-01T17:22:00.000-07:00

So we're back....but now are away again :-)

Here's a couple of picis of us on the boat. That's me looking all pensive at the South Island. As much as I was born there and lived there until I was 16, it always feels a little like returning home when I see the South Island again. It was nice. The boat trips went really well. I popped a little pill and didn't feel yucky at all (well maybe just a little on the way down). The boys did really well too and Isy was happy to go on the big boat.....after all our coaxing beforehand.

We had a nice time catching up with family and meeting our wee niece, Grace who is 5 months old. She had her dediction on the Sunday and wore the gown that her mother and I had worn when we were both dedicated many years ago.

The top photo is my family (I know, I look a lot like my mum) and then the next one is my sister Neroli, her hubby Bruce and wee Grace. Cute huh? It was a nice time to be with them. We even managed to pop over the windy hill to Nelson where I caught up with my best friend from when I was 4!!!!! That was cool and she is still just the same. I remember the way she looked, her hand and facial expressions and even the inflections in her voice. It's funny how we are still so similiar to who we were when we were little.

Now we are at the other end of the North Island with Nigel's family in Tauranga. We drove up yesterday in our new car and are enjoying being here with them. We will be here until Thursday and then it is back to Palmerston North and school starts again on Monday. We're not feeling like we are resting too much and the list of things to do once we return to PN is getting bigger by the day but we are enjoying seeing people. This afternoon we are off to see Nigel's Grandmother so that will be nice.

We are now on DSL at home so that is nice. Now I can catch up on you all. This pici, of the super good looking couple, was taken at Grace's dedication. Spunky huh?

2006-09-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

I'm going NUTS!!!!

I have been without a DSL connection for nearly two months! Two months!!! I'm going out of my mind!!!! I haven't been able to regularly read my blog buddies entries and I have been out of touch with you all for long periods of time. I'm missing my friends and all their life events.

The company that we have signed up with said it could take up to 2 weeks to be linked up. Two weeks!!!!! And that's with us wiring it all up! Two weeks!!!! In Ecuador it took just two days. You heard right....two days and they came, drilled the wee holes in the wall and wired us up. And that was a third world country! Come on NZ!!

I have lots of blogs things to write about but won't do that today. I will inundate you when we are finally connected. Oh what rejoicing there will be on that day. Tomorrow we're off to Blenheim. My sister,her husband and our wee niece (now 5 months old) live there and this is a big weekend for them. Grace, our niece, will be dedicated in church. It will be our first chance to meet her and we will get to hang out with my sister and hubby who we haven't seen yet. It will be a busy weekend but it will be a nice one.
The bit that won't be so nice is this...the Interisland ferry. Boats and I do not go very well together. Something to do with motion sickness, the rollicking waves and the meat pie smells. Yuck yuck yuck. My dad is the same so we may just find a spot to lie down and not move during the whole 3 hour trip. The ferry runs between the North and South Islands, cossing the Cook Strait. It is a very scenic journey...not that I get to see it much:-) At some point you can see the Southern Alps from the tip of the North Island. We have spent much of the week trying to convince Isaac to get on the boat. To date he is a lot happier about it but the true test will be as we board. He should be okay if we bribe him with lollies (candy) and meat pies. Yuck yuck yuck!!!!

2006-09-12T22:44:00.000-07:00

Hi all!

It's great to be back, even if I am only borrowing a friends internet connection to chat with you all. We are working on our own connection which should be up and running in a couple of weeks so once that is done I should be in better communication with you all. I've missed you!!!

We are now in our home town of Palmerston North. It's great to be back on familiar ground but this place is SMALL! The town has just 66 thousand people living here which is tiny after the 3 and a half million of Guayaquil. It's a cute city; totally flat which is helpful as we are yet to get a car and are walking everywhere. We've eaten lots of yummy NZ food and are now trying to be better in the food department. My mum's scales say that I have lost 7 kilos in the last year without even trying so I am keen to not gain those back. I like mum's scales ;-)

But let me tell you.....it's cold! this is what I look like while I am typing this, except my scarf is a lot cuter (all pink/purple and fluffy). But my hand are frozen and I'm making lots of mistakes as my fingers begin to freeze over. There's no snow here nor even frosts but the wind is the killer. Today I got a sore ear after walking to collect the boys from school. That's what cold wind will do for ya.

The boys have begun school and are doing okay. The first couple of days have been tiring (they're used to finishing school in an hour and a half whereas now they have 6 hours of work) but today they were both really happy when we picked them up. It's nice to see a smile on their faces.

Nige and I have been hiding away from everyone this week a little but are now finding our feet and are ready to face the world. It will be nice to see people we care about again.

So that's it for this week. I'm hanging out for my own internet connection so will pray that it happens sooner rather than later. See you soon.

2006-09-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it? We're in NZ and we're not leaving!!! Bizarre I know!

After 3 weeks in the USA and over 30 hours travelling (Charlotte-Atlanta-Indianapolis-Los Angeles-New Zealand!)on Saturday/Sunday we finally arrived on NZ soil at 7 AM Monday morning NZ time. The flights went well until the last one when my dear hubby felt unwell and ended up on oxygen for a couple of hours! Talk about a freak out!!! They even offered to have him wheeled out of the plane and customs area. I quickly replied that that wouldn't be necessary as his parents, who were waiting for us on the other side of the big doors, would have a mild heart attack if their only son was wheeled out. He did perk up towards the end of the flight and all went well.

We were met by Nigel's parents and brother in law and 2 of his kids (they are missios in North Africa) as well as the current director and his wife and a member of the SIM NZ council. It was so great to see them. Later on that day we hung out with the rest of the family that were in Auckland and called the rest of our families that weren't. It was so nice to hang out with people who understood how we were feeling. They gave us this helium balloon and also a lovely rose. How sweet.

As the plane landed in Auckland we all burst into tears. Partly, I think, from relief but more so from a deep sadness that this was it and we weren't turning back anytime soon. Nige asked if we had to fake being happy when we saw people and I replied that we had to, just for a couple of minutes and then we could be real again. It didn't even end up like that. We were happy to be with family again and then during the day were able to express our pain. They, having all been missios, understood. We didn't need to say anything. It was great!

We have slept reasonably well and are feeling a lot more alive than we did on Monday. We are all waking up early though as our bodies are telling us it is lunchtime when in reality it is just 5 AM. We got to see this lovely sunrise over Auckland on Tuesday morning. It is not my intention to see many of these in the future but for now they are beautiful :-)

So this week is all about hanging out with family (Nigel's family), farewelling his sister and family back to North Africa and then heading to Palmerston North and my parents on Friday where we will be based for the next 4 motnhs. The boys start school on Monday so that will be a good break for us all.

My internet access is rather sporadic at ths time so I will do my best to keep you up to date. Have a great week!

2006-08-31T11:39:00.000-07:00

I have decided to follow Jesus.....No turning back. No turning back.

Yesterday, in chapel, I lost it. I know, I know, I tend to lose it more these days but yesterday I totally did.

It had been our turn to present our country to the rest of the SIM International staff. It was expected that we would present something about the NZ office but we really have no idea about that so decided to present Ecuador. I thought I would find it really difficult to see our friends and "family" on the big screen but instead I felt an enormous sense of pride. They were doing such a great job back there, serving the Lord with great gusto and I had had the privilege of serving with them. It was a joy to see them.......and then we sang.

It was the old song "I have decided to follow Jesus". You surely know the one I mean. Anyway I was singing it with great enthusiasm and then came to the words "no turning back" and I realised I was doing exactly that. I was not going back!!! That's when I lost it and couldn't sing any more (I'm such a woose!!!) It hit me...I'm not going back. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not next week even. I had visions of myself landing in Auckland airport on Monday morning and I felt my heart sink. I should be joyful as I will get to see family again but I was overwhelmed with sadness and a great sense of loss. It was hard to contain the tears.

Yet, I have decided to follow Jesus and I am glad to do it. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in this world except in the midst of God's will for my life. I have no doubt that this is what He is asking of me now but the finality of it leaves me weeping. Then, yesterday afternoon we had a girly get together which was lovely. There I read Psalm 37 and found a part of a verse where it says".....and the Lord will lead me by the hand" (can't remember the verse number off by heart). I know that He is with me in all of this and I know that my tears don't threaten Him. In fact He encourages them and just loves me through them.

So I will sing:
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
No turning back
No turning back.

2006-08-27T08:29:00.000-07:00

Shopping! A girl's passion!!

Since being in the USA we have done a bit of shopping and I have LOVED it!!!! The three boys in my life have tolerated it only as long as they get something nice and new as well. I don't mind that as it means I get to buy for them which I just LOVE as well :-)

The supersized Wal Mart was fun although we had to go back twice as in the first couple of hours we only bought for the three boys and the next hour or so was for me. We have managed to stock up our wardrobes and have even coped well with the "casual-professional" clothing status of the office. I have to admit that I have been feeling like I have been dressing up for church everyday. But it has been nice to "look" nice for a change instead of frumping around in capri pants and tshirts all week.

We bought our new computer the day after we arrived (a Mac of course!) and have even splurged out and bought a digital video camera so one day soon I will figure out how to upload a video onto my blog. We've never had a video camera before and this one is really cute so I plan on having a lot of fun with it (thanks Steve for putting us onto it). We've also bought ourselves some nice, comfy sports shoes for an excellent price (the US sure knows how to have a good sale price) so this should be an incentive to get walking when we get back to NZ. At least we won't have a car for a little while so walking should get us into a good habit. That's the plan anyway ;-)
So I found this pici on the web and figured it accurately represents my three boys feelings on shopping. Needless to say all the money has been spent and the suitcases will be well and truly full so no more shopping is on the agenda.......for now anyway!!!!!

2006-08-26T11:40:00.000-07:00

"Wherever I lay my hat...."

So where is home? I remember the words of a song in the '80's which goes something like "wherever I lay my hat, that's my home" and I think this is true of me. Everyone else on the course with us are from a specific place. For example when they are asked "where are you from?" they answer, "Thailand", "India", "Burkina Faso" "Paraguay" etc. But when I am asked where I am from I have no answer. I get stuck! My heart answer is, of course, Ecuador but then could it even be New Zealand? I have no idea.

For now we are at home in the USA. We have laid our hat at the SIM US guest house and this is where we live. It feels like home. We generally know the rules and we can survive. We cleaned our little unit today and washed sheets (just like normal people on a Saturday) so now it feels even more like ours. The crunch will come next week when I have to pack again and tidy it up before leaving. That will be hard. Yet again we are leaving home.

Our next home will be for 5 days in Auckland and then a couple of months in Palmerston North where we will we living with my folks....in their home. That might be tough at times but it will be nice to reconnect with them. I am definitely looking forward to the day when I am in my own home, with my own stuff in the right places, and my own rules. That feels a long way away right now but I know the day will come.

2006-08-23T22:08:00.000-07:00

"Dependence is a life based on prayer."

Yesterday one of our DID's (Deputy International Director) shared on finding the will of God for your ministry and for strategic planning. During his lesson he shared the above statement/thought which really hit home to me. Let me repeat it here....."Dependence is a life based on prayer". I know that I say I am dependent on God for all things but how reflected is that in my prayer life? I have been struggling to answer that question for the past few months.

I'm not a particularly good prayer warrior. I tend to offer up quick prayers at any time of the day, which I guess is not necessarily a bad thing. I have committed myself to pray daily for my blog buddy, Carol, who is living with cancer but then I sometimes struggle with my lack of faith. I have been reading her blog since February this year and at times didn't know how to pray. Sometimes I would pray for a quick and painless death (how faithless is that!!!) but I have grown in my faith, now praying, alongside of many others, for a full and complete recovery. I'm praying too for another blog buddy, Jemmers, that God would bless her with a healthy baby (it's funny how you become attached to someone without ever having met them). I'm anxious for the day when God answers these prayers.

But there are many times when I fail to pray. When I see situations in the world that just seem so big that I begin to wonder if even God could help out. Sometimes even the small things overwhelm me. And then come all those questions that I know everyone has asked at some point in their lives....does God even hear me when I pray? Why is He so slow in answering? Why doesn't He just step in and do something?

Then I have to look at how I pray. I'm not someone who has ever set aside a large amount of time to just pray and sit in silence. My brain goes in a million different directions and I feel like I spend most of my prayer time trying to keep my thoughts under control. But I do want to be a pray-er. I do want to communicate intimately with God, to have a life "based on prayer". I know in my heart that God answers and I desire to learn more about prayer so that when I do pray, it is effective and not self absorbed.

I have been taking a 52 week prayer course on the internet and have made it to week 8 so far. It is run my Eddie and Alice Smtih and consists of short email lessons once a week where the various aspects of prayer are taught. I haven't learnt anything too startling yet but having something to remind me to focus my prayers and be consistent in prayer is helpful.

So the question has to be asked......does your dependence on God reflect itself in a life based in prayer?

2006-08-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

A New Ticker.

As you can see I have made a new ticker. This one tells us how long it will be before we hit kiwi soil again. For those of you in NZ the ticker will be about a day out as it is set on USA time but you'll get the general idea.

We have had a nice relaxing day today just hanging out at the guest house, eating yummy flavoured chips and ice cream and watching movies. I even managed to catch up on some sleep which felt nice. Lots of new people have been arriving throughout the day. Tomorrow we are off to church with some friends then it is back for the beginning of the leadership course. That is going to keep us busy for the next few weeks. We are looking forward to hanging out with new people and learning mnore about SIM. Our only concern is the dress code! We've been told it is casual-professional which doesn't seem to fit our, relaxed, jeans and tshirts. Thankfully we bought some new clothes this week. It should be fun!!!!