"Dependence is a life based on prayer."

Yesterday one of our DID's (Deputy International Director) shared on finding the will of God for your ministry and for strategic planning. During his lesson he shared the above statement/thought which really hit home to me. Let me repeat it here....."Dependence is a life based on prayer". I know that I say I am dependent on God for all things but how reflected is that in my prayer life? I have been struggling to answer that question for the past few months.

I'm not a particularly good prayer warrior. I tend to offer up quick prayers at any time of the day, which I guess is not necessarily a bad thing. I have committed myself to pray daily for my blog buddy, Carol, who is living with cancer but then I sometimes struggle with my lack of faith. I have been reading her blog since February this year and at times didn't know how to pray. Sometimes I would pray for a quick and painless death (how faithless is that!!!) but I have grown in my faith, now praying, alongside of many others, for a full and complete recovery. I'm praying too for another blog buddy, Jemmers, that God would bless her with a healthy baby (it's funny how you become attached to someone without ever having met them). I'm anxious for the day when God answers these prayers.

But there are many times when I fail to pray. When I see situations in the world that just seem so big that I begin to wonder if even God could help out. Sometimes even the small things overwhelm me. And then come all those questions that I know everyone has asked at some point in their lives....does God even hear me when I pray? Why is He so slow in answering? Why doesn't He just step in and do something?

Then I have to look at how I pray. I'm not someone who has ever set aside a large amount of time to just pray and sit in silence. My brain goes in a million different directions and I feel like I spend most of my prayer time trying to keep my thoughts under control. But I do want to be a pray-er. I do want to communicate intimately with God, to have a life "based on prayer". I know in my heart that God answers and I desire to learn more about prayer so that when I do pray, it is effective and not self absorbed.

I have been taking a 52 week prayer course on the internet and have made it to week 8 so far. It is run my Eddie and Alice Smtih and consists of short email lessons once a week where the various aspects of prayer are taught. I haven't learnt anything too startling yet but having something to remind me to focus my prayers and be consistent in prayer is helpful.

So the question has to be asked......does your dependence on God reflect itself in a life based in prayer?